Out jokes

I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.

What's a reversed exorcism?

It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick. Get your head out of the gutters... Jeez!

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"

Why are astronauts forgetful?

They're always spacing out.

I went to the “lists of women” page on Wikipedia and it was blank.

Either, Wikipedia is proving women do not exist or John Cena decided to come out as transgender.

Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?

They thought their parents would catch them.

An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."

ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.

Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.

Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.

I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.

Bro, I love hanging out with bullies. It's either we play Yahtzee or we playing Nazi.

Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"

I once made a belt out of clocks.

It was a waist of time.

It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!

Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

I'm lookin' for some good jokes for the best song award. Can y'all help a fellow out?

What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?

It said nothing, just let out a little wine.

Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.