Out jokes

Last night little Johnny went to his room and saw people hanging out there, little balls.

poop i eat it for dinner i eat it at night yet it never comes out of me? how is that possibul?

pOOp

The best part about being a medical student is, you will never run out of jokes.

You so fat you got thrown out the window, but the window threw you back inside.

Stop making these stop jokes. I'm running out of laugh gas.

Why Satan didn't stop sending messages to God about hell?

'Cause they made a juice out of him.

Your mama so fat she got in to the pool, the water got out and big mama! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.

A man walks into a bar and then out.

Coworker, why is Sara so blue?

Is it because Sara wishes she had a man? coworker she always watches you with your husband together out of love. You better watch out dear, she might "saraorize" him, with her crooked teeth and ultra-thin lips.

So the fire alarm went off, but as soon as they walked out of the classroom, the only fire they saw was out of a gun.

If you're American coming into the bathroom,

And you're American coming out of the bathroom,

What are you in the bathroom?

European.

How are babies and the elderly similar?

They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.

Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"

It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies.” I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point. They sure as hell aren’t real now!

Boosterthon asks to raise up to $35,000.

I donate $35,000. I ask, "What's my prize?" Boosterthon worker says, "Here's a headband." Me: "I donated the goal, so is that it?" Boosterthon worker: "No, it's $35,000 per person." I pass out. Boosterthon worker goes back to work like it is a regular day.

Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!

So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"

The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"

Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!

So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"

So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"

I’m about to tell you the funniest joke I heard:

Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls emergency services. The operator then hears the problem and says, “Well, let’s make sure he’s dead.” A shot is then heard. The other guy says, “Ok, now what?”

Did you laugh?

Abraham Lincoln was a good man, he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand and walked up to a group of ladies and said I'm doing my duty so why don't you give me some booty?

I thought that kid was walking cool when I had my ears shut. It turns out he was moaning.