Opportunity jokes

Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.

I was to go to space camp, but then I realized I had no space to learn.

All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something.

Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.

You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.

I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...

Knock, knock...

Who's there?

I don't know?!?

Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank.

Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.