Nursing jokes
My local pet store sells prong collars to get dogs to behave.
But when I tried them on an Alzheimer's patient, I got fired from the nursing home.
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.
The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"
My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."
There is a man in the hospital. The power went out, and the man was stabbed to death. There are three witnesses: the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who who was at the vending machine. Who killed the man?
The mom did, because you can’t use a vending machine when the power's out!
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
Community talk
Eminem was born on October 17, 1972. His mom had some weird blood-poisoning sickness in her titties, so she couldn’t BREASTFEED him… I guess he just drank normal milk. Eminem’s dad left him a young age, so he and his mom lived together by themselves, they moved several times, in FACT, Eminem claimed that he went to 15 shitty schools during his childhood. Believe it or not, Eminem was actually born in MISSOURI, but he… Read more
Arthur sat by the fire, nursing a bottle of whiskey. It had been a long day of hunting and he was looking forward to a nice, relaxing evening in camp. As he took a swig from the bottle, he heard a commotion coming from the other side of the camp.
Curious, Arthur got up and walked over to investigate. To his horror, he saw some of the other gang members gathered around a bucket, laughing and pointing. Curiosity turne… Read more
GENESIS 35 God Blesses and Renames Jacob 1God said to Jacob, “Arise, go up to Bethel and dwell there. Make an altar there to the God who appeared to you when you fled from your brother Esau.” 2So Jacob said to his household and to all who were with him, “Put away the foreign gods that are among you and purify yourselves and change your garments. 3Then let us arise and go up to Bethel, so that I may make there an alta… Read more