No jokes
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”
Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad.
Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”
I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls, so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going.
The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example, "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun... and so on."
So next time I was having a conversation with a girl, I saw a red truck. So I said, "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said, "oh, and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said, "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."
I’m not funny! Please do not laugh at my jokes! But do check them out, they’re very unpredictable. Read them, do not laugh, they’re jokes, do not laugh at them!
Someone: hah- Me: NO DON’T YOU DARE!😠😠
Roses are red, violets are blue, all these orphan jokes have ruined this site. Fuck you!
Philza: PUT THE ORPHAN DOWN TECHNOBLADE- NO DON-
Technoblade: R.I.P orphan
Memes
What do you call a man with no toes?
No Toe Joe.
No one. Beyoncé said "To the left, to the left!" She really meant women have no rights.
Shipmate: Captain, there’s an iceberg and we need to steer around it right now!
Captain: My momma didn’t raise no pussy. Either that iceberg is gonna move or I am.
Why the actual f
is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not and no one will know the goddam difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, “It’s too offensive,” or something like that. Goddam, just take that shit somewhere else!
Neona: Gwen! I got the job!!!!!!!!!
Gwen: I knew it! I knew my prayer worked!
Neona: He said that all my ideas are the best and that I start on Monday!
Gwen: Man, don't you love Mr. Jaekson? He is the best person the company has ever had!
Neona: Who is Mr. Jaekson?
Gwen: Wait... Mr. Jaekson didn't interview you?
Neona: No! Mr. Smith did. He said he was standing.
Gwen: No, Mr. Smith, you are a fool who never lets you spread the word or do anything. I can also mention that he is a person who has sexual problems!
Neona: Gwen, you are a liar!
Gwen: No, I'm not. I'm telling the truth, Neona!
Neona: Gwen, please be happy that I got the job without you lying that Mr. Smith sexual assaults women!!!
Gwen: He does, you're not listening.
Neona: I don't care, BITCH!!!!
I go balls deep in your mum with no power.
What do you call a magician with no magic? A dyslexic c**t.
How do you saw an apple with no mouth?
A P P L E
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
Gloves!
JK, he hasn't opened it yet.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call an orphan with no relatives?
An orphan with no relatives.
Why can't orphans tell jokes?
They have no one to tell them to, people.
I woke up when I heard a strange noise coming from my kitchen.
I turned on the light, and I saw none other than the exposed flop GHOSTNALDO. He asked me if I had PenalTEA, his favorite drink. I said no and yelled, "There is a big game tomorrow!" and he disappeared.
Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?
Orphan: *Sobs* "No."
God, I love working at an orphanage!
Why is the orphan cold?
'Cause there's no one to cuddle with.