No one jokes
A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.
After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.
"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.
"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.
The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.
"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.
"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.
"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.
"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?
Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?
Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!
If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.
It's just true.
Roses are red, violets are blue, keep being you, let no one discourage you.
No one:
Nothing:
Not a single f***ing soul:
Spanish Empire: DING DONG YOUR RELIGION IS WRONG!
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!
Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
What's the best thing about an abortion joke??
No one gets offended.
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
He’s so short no one can see you very close by.