You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!
Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
"Nun" means no one likes them. Just take off that dumb hood!
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
What's the best thing about an abortion joke??
No one gets offended.
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
He’s so short no one can see you very close by.
Yo mamma's so fat no one was laughing, but the ground was cracking up.
There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
Because no one misses them.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
The ketchup told a joke. No one was laughing, but the egg was cracking up!
I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."
Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”
Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”
Why can't men play baseball?
Because no one can take the word "balls" seriously anymore.
