No one jokes
Why can't men play baseball?
Because no one can take the word "balls" seriously anymore.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.
But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.
Are you still a virgin?
If you do IT
With no one?
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you are so ugly that no one likes you.
What are two plus sides to being an orphan?
1. All your snacks are family sized.
2. No one can make jokes about your mama.
One time, Little Johnny heard his parents "wrestling" in their bed. So the next morning, he went to rape all the little girls in school. This then led to his demise.
No girls told on him, but when he grew up, he was a raper. He never stopped. In total, "little" Johnny had over 31 sons that he didn't know about. When he was sentenced to jail, he raped all the inmates despite his small figure. He was then sent to the death sentence, "eagle wing" torture style.
His parents were happy he died, and the morbid rapist was put down, never to return again. However, all the sons had his genes, including his MINDSET. They then became a cult and shot down 2014 cops, 471 military members and 72951 males and females. The kids, you ask? Only the males were spared, and taught how to operate the guns. All but 419 females were killed. They soon became the world's strongest empire. No one could stop Little Johnny's sons. NO ONE.
POV you are drunk and telling jokes and no one is listening 😭😭😭
Why don't orphans play tag?
Because there's no one to catch.
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
No one misses them.
Why is September 11th an awesome birthday to have?
Because no one forgets it! :)
Me: How do you celebrate Christmas?
Orphan: I don't know what you mean.
Me: There is no one to give a present.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
Because no one is there for them to pass [the ball].
Why did no one turn up to John's funeral?
Because Sally wrote the invitations!
Why did the orphan cry to the teacher? Because they have no one else.
No one gives a fuck.
I told a joke at a funeral, but no one laughed. One mf was ded though💀.
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.