Nightmare jokes
1, 2, Freddy's coming for you.
3, 4, better lock your door.
5, 6, grab a crucifix.
7, 8, stay up late.
9, 10, never sleep again.
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What's an Indian scammer's worst nightmare? Google Playstore points being redeemed.
What's a Jew's worst nightmare?
A frozen bank account.
Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last person who had a dream got shot.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.
What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson’s dreams every night?
Hanson.
What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?
Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
I was working at Fredbear’s, but then I got bite of ‘83’d.
What's an Asian's worst nightmare? A tree.
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
I hate nightmares.
What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.
Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.
Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!
Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-
Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"
Yo mama so ugly that she gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"
Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."
Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"
Dad: "That isn't the remote."
*Weird background music*