Musical Instrument jokes
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
Every time French people greet me, they say "banjo."
Nga, I don't got no fucking banjo.
Being in a band without a pencil is as easy as reading snare drum music.
What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.
(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.
What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
According to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
What kind of instrument is always having to go potty?
A pee-ano/piano.
What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?
No one cries when they cut up the viola.
Why was the piano waiting at the front door?
Because it forgot which key to use!
My favorite instrument? The TromBONE, of course.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
"I hear you asking, 'What's your favorite instrument?' The Trombone."
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? A small skin flute.
What instrument can a skeleton not play? An organ!
What instrument can a skeleton play? A Trombone!
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
Have you heard the joke about the sheep, drum, and snake?
"Baa" "dumm" "tsss"
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.