Music jokes
What is Michael Jackson's favorite instrument? A small skin flute.
What's the song that plays at the very end of the movie, Dr. Strangecow, during the montage of nuclear blasts?
"Veal meat again, don't know where, don't know when..."
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
What do you call a rapper who took a dump?
Lil' Crappie.
How do you find a rapper in a snowstorm?
Look for the one with the "ICE-COLD RHYMES."
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some DEPOSITS of RHYMES.
Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony. He opened up a pasta shop and made some macaroni.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
How does a rapper stay warm in the winter?
With some HOT TRACKS!
Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.
Why was the rapper always late?
Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.
I got 99 problems but a chin ain't one.
So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.
But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."
So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.
This was the best day of my life.
This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.
Like if you are emo.
What did the DJ say to the VEGETABLE?
"Lettuce turnip the beet!"
I tried to rape Amy Winehouse, but she said, "No! No! No!"
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
Halal!
Is it meat you're looking for?
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.