Music jokes

When an emo asks you to hang out under a tree...

Why don't rappers ever gamble?

Because they're always dropping beats, not bets.

You when you face the boss the first time: :)

You when Dark Souls boss music starts playing on the second phase: :(

You when you ask why do you hear boss music: <(

You when the boss goes straight to his final phase after 1 hit:

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What did rapper Pop Smoke get high off of? Cigarettes with Pop and Smoke.

What's the most emo name?

Carter.

Why are the candy's clothes in the studio?

Because it's a wrapper.

I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...

What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.

What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).

What do you call a shake? Shake ya booty!

What is a paedophile’s favourite symphony?

Amadeus Mozart’s special flute in A minor.

What's the difference between BTS and Futurama? There's only one Bender in Futurama.

This song is just like how my life is and how my girlfriend left.

- Do Re Mi- By- blackbear

Do, re, mi, fa, so

(Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh)

Do, re, mi, fa, so

(Yeah, yeah, yeah)

Yeah, if I could go back to the day we met

I probably would just stay in bed

You run your mouth all over town

And this one goes out to the sound

Of breakin' glass on my Range Rover

Pay me back, or bitch it's over

All the presents I would send

Fuck my friends behind my shoulder

Next time, I'ma stay asleep

I pray the Lord my soul to keep, oh

And you got me thinkin' lately

Bitch, you crazy

And nothing's ever good enough

I wrote a little song for ya

It go like

Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl

So fuckin' done with all the games you play

I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe

Send the X and O's on another note

I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby

So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

(Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh)

If I could go back to the day we met

I probably would've stayed in bed

You wake up everyday and make me feel like I'm incompetent

Designer shoes and Xanax tabs

Compliments your make-up bag

You never had to buy yourself a drink

'Cause everybody want to tap that ass sometime

And you got me thinkin' lately

Bitch, you crazy

And nothing's ever good enough

I wrote a little song for ya

It go like

Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl

So fuckin' done with all the games you play

I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe

Send the X and O's on another note

I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby

So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

(Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh)

I wrote a little song for you, it go like

Do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, girl

So fuckin' done with all the games you play

I ain't no Tic-Tac-Toe

Send the X and O's on another note

I'm do, re, mi, fa, so fuckin' done with you, baby

So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

(Yeah, yeah, yeah)

Do, re, mi, fa, so

(Yeah, yeah, yeah)

So send the X and O's on another note, I'm ghost

Why you never have to give a balloon to Elsa?

Because she will let it goooooooooooooooo let it goooo!

My grandma's got 99 problems, but a fat butt ain't one of 'em.

Why did Techno die?

They broke his bed.

What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?

"Baby, now we got bad blood."

What is an emo's favorite game? Hangman.

Why is the sinking of Titanic different to sinking rapboat?

Titanic sinking was a tragedy, rapboat sinking is fucking funny.

Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the party?

To drop some WORDPLAY!

Why did the rapper go to the zoo?

To find some WILD BEATS.