Music jokes
Why did the alien go to the rap battle?
Because he had some UNEARTHLY rhymes!
What do you call a rapper who's afraid of GHOSTS?
MC Shiver.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many PROBLEMS and not enough RAP.
What do you call a rapper who's always COLD?
MC Freezer.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the kitchen?
Because he kept dropping the BEETS!
Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he always dropped the MIC instead of the BAT.
How does a rapper clean their house?
With a BEAT BRUSH!
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could count bars like NOBODY’S BUSINESS!
Why don't rappers ever become bankers?
Because they always break the BARS!
How do rappers freshen their breath?
With a MICRO-MINT!
Why don't rappers struggle with geometry?
Because they have all the angles covered.
What is a terrorist's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
My wife asked me to please quit singing "Wonderwall" in the shower.
I said, "Maybe."
When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.
Stop the cap.
Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
Why did the drum go to bed? It was beat.
Your hairline goes so far back, even the Proclaimers wouldn't walk there.
Lil Nas X is so gay, I would fuck him in the Old Town Road.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
Because it was all about the TIMING.
Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.