My mom told me to get a job, so I did. One day my mom saw me I had money my mom ask me where did you get that money, my mom ask me where did you get that money. I said I got a job in the neighborhood. My mom ask me what do you do, so I said when you take showers I secretly open the door, and I let the the guys some ans see you one by one and I get paid for it. My mom said your growing up so fast, & I said back to my mom that is what the guys say when they see in the shower.
What did The Notorious B.I.G. say to the cow?
- MOO MONEY MOO PROBLEMS
There's a white guys, black guy, and Santa clause. They get a hotel room. White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and say put down my money or ill cut off your weiner. He gets scared and jumps out the window. Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says put down my money or ill cut off you're weiner. He gets scared and jumps out the window. Santa clause goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, put down my money or ill cut off you're weiner. Santa clause looks at the ghost and says I'm the ghost of Christmas past you touch my dick ill kick your ass!!!
Stressed Out-By- Twenty One Pilots and watersharky Music Productions-I wish I found some better sounds No one's ever heard I wish I had a better voice That sang some better words I wish I found some chords In an order that is new I wish I didn't have to rhyme Every time I sang I was told when I get older All my fears would shrink But now I'm insecure And I care what people think My name's Blurryface and I care what you think My name's Blurryface and I care what you think Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out We're stressed out Sometimes a certain smell will Take me back to when I was young How come I'm never able to identify Where it's coming from? I'd make a candle out of it If I ever found it Try to sell it, never sell out of it I'd probably only sell one It'd be to my brother, cause we have the same nose Same clothes, home grown The stone's throw from a creek we used to roam But it would remind us of when Nothing really mattered Out of student loans and tree house homes We all would take the latter My name's Blurryface and I care what you think My name's Blurryface and I care what you think Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship and then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face singing "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship And then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face singing "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out Wish we could turn back time To the good old days When our momma sang us to sleep But now we're stressed out We used to play pretend, used to play pretend, money We used to play pretend, wake up you need the money Used to play pretend, used to play pretend, money We used to play pretend, wake up you need the money Used to play pretend Give each other different names We would build a rocket ship And then we'd fly it far away Used to dream of outer space But now they're laughing at our face saying "Wake up, you need to make money", yeah
An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $30." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman slightly annoyed gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.
i saw a poor man and i gave him money and he said, nope i don,t need money so i gave him and he punch me for no reason.
i lost 10000 dollars so i killed my piggy bank so i get a real pig and money which my money is fake but the janitor said it is real so killed myself and turn to a real human.
Why did the orphan rob the bank Because he wanted to be wanted
I'm just gonna say it. And don't get offended but I'm so sick of the media bieng on the female side. It never shows what life is like for a male.
Yes women do have it hard in life because they have to give birth etc.
But men have it pretty hard too if not harder. Males are criticised for showing emotions.
Men have to go to war on the front lines.
Boys have less support from their friends because showing any emotion is a sign of weakness.
Boys have to wear trousers in schools where they practically burn to death in summer meanwhile girls get to wear dresses and skirts. And now we hear girls complaining about them not being allowed to wear trousers. Yet we haven't ever heard anything about boys protesting about wearing shorts to school. It's because no one will take a man's protest seriously because the media is always against the men.
Man-rape is unheard of in the media and I've never seen anything in any form of news accusing a woman as a rapist.
We are expected to gather up our guts ask a girl to be their girlfriend, we have to take them on dates, pay the bill, buy them gifts when the girls never do anything like that for us males. We have to get a job while they put on makeup and go out with their friends and spend 3 months worth of the money the man has made.
And the women say we only rape women and that we restrict women from doing certain things like fighting in world wars.
It's because most males do not want females to get hurt. Yet we are criticised for this.
I propose a idea that on the 19 of September every year (until we get the point across) all males do not go to work. etc.
Whose going to put out all the fires? The two fire'women' at the local fire station. Who is going to work in the major corporations? The secretary's and the receptionist?
Women are always saying that the world will be a better place if they're are no men around. Let's show them how wrong they are.
(this event can be done worldwide)
Share this with as many people who still believe in the rights of the males.
(I'm not against feminism it's just that everything in the media is about some stupid problem women are complaining about + hatred for males everywhere.
But I think that nowadays women have more rights than men because they can wear what they want, do what they want and never get criticised or face any consequences.)
Money is power and power is sex. Sex is ex and ex is virgin.
I am only here because me no like blues clues lgbtq episode as I don’t believe in that. If you do ok. And it shouldn’t be a month, the month should be for all of the war veterans, it should be a day for pride. Companies only use this month for money it’s exploitation because they don’t truly support unlike me in which I don’t support it
Your mom is so hot, if she had a only fans page, she would get more money than companies on pride month
In the beginning of the 20th century, a young girl called Edit left her home country of Sweden, and crossed the Ocean to make a new life in America. Unfortunately, it did not go all that well, and she found herself soon homeless, begging for food or money to survive.
She used to occupy a street next to a theater; not because it meant hefty handouts, but because it was a place where no other beggars or police bothered her; every night, a new crowd came to see a show, and the cute young girl found just enough mercy to survive. In fact, she did so well, that she decided to afford herself a small piece of cake every tuesday - just to keep her spirits up.
One tuesday, she could not get a break. Looked like she will go without cake this week. Then, a strange looking gentleman stopped near her. He soon heard her story, and decided to share his fortune.
Gentleman: I work as a magician in the touring show - today we performed here. Some nights, our guests want to gamble with us afterwards, and I make sure to bring home more than I came with. I try to keep it moderate - but today, this obnoxious drunk was loaded, so I emptied his pockets. Here, take this precious coin.
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"
There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead.
Matt, "Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife"
Priest, "how so?"
Matt, "We were together naked, but we didn't do anything just rubbed each other, that's all"
Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box"
Matt, "okay i promise not to see her again"
Then Matt walks out the door
Priest, "Hey I saw you! you didn't put any money in the donation box!!"
Matt, "Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in"
what do you call an chineze rich man. Cha Ching
Money and my mom are kinda the same thing they come and leave easlily
Money and women are kind of the same thing for me it comes and goes very easily
What did the racist serial killer say to the cop?
“Wait, you’re getting paid?”
