Modification jokes

Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.

Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?

Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.

My name, my address, and my phone number.

One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week."

They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."