Modification jokes

Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.

Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?

A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.

My name, my address, and my phone number.

It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.

The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...

so Trump can't tweet it.