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A woman and a man shake hands in front of a small airplane. The text on the image says: "Can a woman make you a Millionaire?" A comment below says: "Xavier: Yes! If you are a Billionaire."

The image shows a warning sign with the word WARNING on top and an illustration of a person seemingly exploding in a cloud of smaller fragments.

On the left side of the image, a group of people is sitting around a large dinner table. On the right side, a doge is wearing a black t-shirt that reads "50,000 battered women and I'm still eating mine plain?!"

United Kingdom UK at your doorstep

A screenshot of a Twitter conversation. Thiccboy says, "I'm very sad." MoonPie replies, "Would you like an interesting fact to cheer you up?" Thiccboy says, "Yes." MoonPie says, "Me too do you know any?"

cardiopulmonary resuscitation

Someone’s gonna get scarred

A Minecraft character stands in a seemingly endless, sterile hallway with yellow walls. Text at the bottom of the image says: "You will be boiled."

A close-up photo of a cooked shrimp. The text overlay says: "Repost if you like shrimp. Or want to rail a cat for 12 hours straight."

Two tweets are shown in a side by side comparison. The first tweet reads: "To be fair, you could drive for 149 hours across Vatican City if you drive slow enough." The second tweet below the first one reads: "You can drive for 149 hours across Russia and still be in Russia". The second tweet also includes an image of the Russian map with a line of travel highlighted. It shows the route from west to east of Russia and has a text bubble displaying '149 hr'.

The image shows a phone screen displaying a text conversation. The first message reads "FBI Agent: Do it bro". Followed by the user: "My dog just ran away", "Yah" and "I still have a boyfriend". In between, the FBI agent texts "I'm so sorry to hear that" and "I'm here if you need anything". The last message by the user reads "And I still have my dog."

Cosmo the Intern

A cartoon shows a man standing atop a large pile of money, holding a sign that says "TAX CUTS." He is yelling "YOU JUST WANT FREE STUFF!!" while pointing at a group of people holding signs that say "Affordable Housing", "Universal Healthcare", and "Affordable College".

A grid of six different pictures of people with labels. The first picture shows a boy, labeled 'THE BOY YOU LIKE'. The second shows a girl, labeled 'HIS GIRLFRIEND'. The third shows a young man, labeled 'HIS BROTHER'. The fourth is another picture of a girl, labeled 'HIS EX'. The fifth is of a middle-aged man, labeled 'HIS DAD'. The last picture is of a priest, labeled 'YOU'.

When you're balls are blue, but you Klux Klan's Ku...

A yellow sign with black text that says: "Keep back from the platform edge or you may get sucked off."

FEBRUARY
Saturday
Right, I know it's been a while since I wrote in this,
but a whole lot has happened so let me fill you in on
everything.
Manny Heffley is the personification of human sin. Do
you wanna know the reason he tried to get me killed?
DATS FOWR NAWT
TEACHING ME HOW
TWO TIE MY SHOES,
YOU FUCKING PLOOPY.
I'M ONWEE
THWEE, BUBBY!
HEWP ME TIE MY
GAWDDAYUM
SHOES.
So I punted that little shit into the wall..
I should have paid more attention to Miom though, because
she actually stuck by her word for once. She managed to
shoot me in both legs and break i
my.
fucking kneecaps.
11

DAD IS FUCKING DEAD. HE SHOT HIMSELF.
Rodrick and I heard a bang come from the basement, and
the first thing we see is DAD ON THE FLOOR WITH
A BULLET IN HIS FUCKING HEAD. When Mom
turned around, I tell she looked batshit crazy. She
was
you
holding a glock and looked like a fucking animal.
I'M GONNA
BREAK YOUR
FUCKING
LEGS GREG
WHAT THE
HELL?!
She then threatened us for answers for who told Dad,
and when I thought things couldn't get any i
BUBBY
DID IT!
worse...
HE had to fuck shit up.
10

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

Monday
DECEMBER
Today was fucking dreadful.
Me and the boys were just watching porn on the
school computers in computer science. Nothing harmful.
You know how it goes, though. There's always s
bitch across the room, just waiting, dying to ruin the
fun.
Some
WHAT
GREG IS WATCHING
PORNOGRAPHY, MR
JIZZLE!
"PANT
PANT
THE
ZFUCK?!
The next time I see
snitch is fucking dead.
Patty, I swear to god, that
1

A man with a sweaty face looking exhausted. The text on the image is: "When u RAW DOGGIN her for 3 hours straight with back to back rounds & she stops *sighs* & says 'Do u think they'll ever find a cure for AIDS?'"

A Star Wars Fan

A black and white picture shows a person with a tear running down their face. Above, there is the text: "When you order a book called 'How to scam people' and it still hasn't arrived after 3 months:"

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