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Gift

Shitpost master-general · 7 months ago

Merry eve of Christmas

A lit green candle in a glass jar sits on a wooden surface. The text at the top of the image says "Men are so hard to shop for". The label on the candle reads "Cigarettes and Gasoline Candle" and includes simple line-art icons of a smoking cigarette and a jerrycan of gasoline.

Foot

Creed (shit isnt availabe) · 6 months ago

The image contains text that says "Girl: I only date 6 feet guys" and "Me with 2 feet:". Below the text is a picture of a man sitting on the floor, looking sad. He is wearing a plaid shirt and blue sneakers.

Color

Anonymous · 9 months ago

A screenshot of two comments on a dark background. The first comment, by user @NeoRacer, states, 'Brown and yellow ranked low because of poop and pee.' This comment has 1.8K likes. The second comment, by user @John-gu9kf, replies, '....and foreigners 😂😂😂.' This comment has 89 likes.

Age

Big Jim · 8 months ago

It took me a second to realize

A serious-looking man with a beard, identified as Gustavo Fring, wearing a light-colored suit jacket, a red shirt, and a red tie, stands in front of a dark blue background. To his right, white text in a blocky font outlines a simple mathematical sequence: "take your age add 21 subtract 11 subtract 10 that's your age".

Bread

Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

A close-up photograph shows a rectangular loaf of bread resting on a table surface. The bread is charred black, but bright orange and red light glows intensely through deep cracks in the surface, making it look like a piece of cooling lava or magma. The caption at the bottom reads, "Burnt my bread a little".

Highway

Heroin Monkey · 8 months ago

A view from inside a car looking out onto a multi-lane highway on an overcast day. A large red octagonal stop sign, attached to a bent piece of metal, is lodged on the front of the vehicle, partially obstructing the driver's view. Traffic is visible ahead. The caption reads: 'Gang am I still supposed to stop 😂😭'.

Boob

Anonymous · 2 years ago

Damn.....

The image contains text that says: "Her boobs are saggy without a bra." and ur dick is small without an erection. NEXT

Suicide

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a messaging conversation. The first message reads, "This is Gavin mom. I am sorry to inform you." The next message reads, "What happens?" The final message reads, "He killed himself." Below this is the word, "wompwomp."

Sacrifice

Anonymous · 2 years ago

In a classical painting style, Jesus is sitting and talking to a group of people. Text overlaid on the image says, "SO I WAS LIKE, 'YO ABRAHAM, YOU SHOULD SACRIFICE YOUR SON.' THEN I WAS LIKE, 'WOAH, I WAS JUST KIDDING, BRO'"

Foot

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A three-panel comic shows a slipper with a worried expression saying, "I'm not so sure about this foot-senpai..." In the second panel, a foot wearing a sock is visible with the dialogue, "Don't worry, I'm wearing protection." The final panel shows the slipper with hearts around it, looking at the socked foot.

Movie

DAP ME UP · 2 years ago

tell Bruce get over it

In a dark alley scene, a young boy is kneeling between two bodies, seemingly deceased. In the upper right corner, another person is sitting on a ledge, giving a thumbs up.

Movie

Anonymous · 2 years ago

I got the wrong movie

A parody image of the movie poster "Guardians of the Galaxy", with different people's heads superimposed on the characters and a chocolate bar in the middle of the poster. The superimposed faces include a man on the left with a green textured skin, a woman in the middle-left with dark hair, a man in the middle with reddish hair, a black woman with dark hair, and a man with glasses on the right. Text on the image includes the movie title, "Guardians of the Galaxy" and "Marvel Studios". Below the title, a chocolate bar is shown with the text "Galaxy Smooth Milk" and the Tiktok handle "@c_a_l_l_u_m_4_4".

Hitler

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A black and white photo shows a person with a feeding tube lying in a hospital bed. Standing near the bed is Adolf Hitler, wearing his uniform. There is a bottle of wine on the nightstand.

Cigarette

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a poster with the text "Cigarettes are like squirrels. They are perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. NO SMOKING". There is a picture of a squirrel on the right side of the poster.

Validation

Anonymous · 2 years ago

Crazy how the meanest girls are always some of the ugliest.

A four-panel Wojak-style meme. Top left shows a character known as 'Trad-Girl.' Top right shows several other female characters, often depicted as 'mean girls,' insulting her with text like 'You're ugly,' 'No man will want you,' and 'Small boobs.' Bottom left shows 'GigaChad' character telling Trad-Girl, 'You're pretty.' Bottom right shows Trad-Girl responding, 'I am?'.

Crush

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A woman's face is covered in white fluid. The text says "If a girl gives you this look, it means she might have a crush on you. You can tell by the slight angle of her smile."

Sexual act

MEME LORD · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a Twitter post from user @BreezyCarter_. The text reads: 'Hubby likes shoving soft boiled eggs up my vagina (I can hold 3) and then I squat down and lay the eggs like a hen and hubby will eat them coated with my juices 😋'

Team

MEME LORD · 2 years ago

A photograph of the Christian Universal Ministry team from 1980. The team members are wearing red and white uniforms with the word CUM printed on them.

Self-defense

Anonymous · 2 years ago

The CONSTITUTION is not optional.

The image features a news headline stating, 'Czech government tells its citizens how to fight terrorists: Shoot them yourselves.' Below the headline, several handguns are displayed. The bottom part shows a character holding a pistol from a video game with the text 'we can't expect God to do all the work.'

Pickle

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

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