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Titanic

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A tweet by Sarah Cooper says: Titanic (1997). Scientist: Where's the diamond? Old lady: *three hour long story about how she lost her virginity*

Writer

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A bearded man is writing in a notebook. Above him is text that says, "SCP writers writing an entry about a parking meter that causes the balls of everyone in a 200 meter radius to explode."

Nevermind

GG Miller · 3 years ago

I ALWAYS SAY THIS

A sad-looking minion is standing to the right. The text to the left reads: SAYING "NEVERMIND" BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO LAZY TO RE-EXPLAIN THE WHOLE STORY.

Story

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Case

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screenshot of a Wikipedia article titled 'Enumclaw horse sex case.' The article details a 2005 incident where Kenneth D. Pinyan died from internal injuries after engaging in bestiality with a stallion. The article mentions other participants, James Michael Tait and Douglas Spink, and discusses the legal changes in Washington state prompted by the incident, including making bestiality a Class C felony. A map shows the location of Enumclaw, Washington State.

Brain

TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

The image shows four horizontal panels. On the left, each panel has text, the top being "WoW lore", the second "Elder Scrolls Lore", the third "Super Mario Lore", and the fourth "Bionicle Lore". On the right, each panel has a corresponding image of a progressively more elaborate brain scan. The top scan looks like a normal x-ray of a brain. The second has a green glowing section. The third has a bright light coming out of the brain, and the fourth is of a full body with a glowing core.

Dog

Evil Duck Lords Of America · 1 year ago

Like for bonuses if you are following me and you have the best explanation

A man covered in mud is carrying a muddy dog on his shoulders. The dog has something in its mouth. The text overlay says, "Here's a story that needs to be told...."

House

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

bro wtf is tihs ad

A video game ad showing a baby crawling away from a man in an orange shirt in a house. The text says, "Play Whos Your Daddy. Play Around In Your Two-Story House And Garden Packed With Potentially Dangerous Items. Sponsored. MaxLevelFun. Download"

Fandom

Ruv_Fnf_Simp7256 · 3 years ago

Those fanfics be like:

The image shows two drawings of cartoon-like characters. The first one on the left has a yellow and orange color scheme with a sad face and the second one on the right has a dark-blue and black color scheme and a more mischievous expression.

Message

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

Close up of Woody from Toy Story, with blacked out teeth on the bottom row that creates spaces where teeth should be. Text reads: "I just found this hidden message in Toy Story omg."

Time

Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 2 years ago

Jorking my peniys

The image is a screenshot of a tweet by user @Xvstardust_. The tweet text reads: One time I was jorking mine peniys and... Well... Let's just say it got hard...

Character

Glassiiewxter · 1 year ago

A printout of a scene from the movie Inside Out, showing several characters sitting at desks in a classroom. Sadness is in the front, looking forlorn. The text on the paper reads: "You may pick any character in the picture and write a story in first person point of view. Be sure to use details and dialogue in your story."

Vehicle

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

Boredpanda

Silly Sonka · 2 years ago

Gonna get a lil weird, gonna get a lil wild

A cartoon character with blonde hair and a pink headband has a panda face superimposed over her face with the text: I AIN'T FROM ROUND THERE. I'M FROM THE BOREDPANDA.

Interview

BellaTrix · 3 years ago

Me!

A multi-panel image showing a scene from an interview with a woman, presumably Bellatrix, next to a man in a suit. In the first two panels, she says "Could she, stop, okay. Come on." and the man says, "This is my ship." The next two panels have speech bubbles, "Interview: This is about growing up on Potter then, Okay. She hasn't. She's never grown up on Potter to this day when you..." and "Interview: Do you have any stories or anything about children any of the other people being around. "It's pretty much grown up with them."" The bottom row shows her saying, "My god. So much more handsome." and him saying, "He's really gotten into a suit.". The last panel shows her saying, "He does unbelievably more mature than me but that's not saying much."

Toaster

TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

Throw the bed sheet or better yet, throw the entire bed out

A picture of a bed with a splattered mess and a plate with toaster strudels. The text above the image reads: "I was eating a toaster strudel in bed and dropped it. No way my wife is gonna believe that story."

Woman

dabestjoke · 3 years ago

Hello. Here's my story . An unemployed woman looking for love. I went on tindar because my friends were talking about it. I matched with a guy who asked me weird questions like if i could send pictures on my private areas, Being confident i said no.

A person is holding a fan of US dollar bills in front of their face. Only their eyes, part of their hat and their hand holding the money can be seen. The background is blurred and dark.

Portal

Anonymous · 7 years ago

Me walking in to the office:

Principal: Tell me, what did you do?

Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

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