Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

The image shows two frames. In the first frame, a man in a suit is asking, "Mr. Putin, why did you invade Ukraine?" In the second frame, another man in a suit responds, "I am just coming to that. You see on May 28th, 2016, a gorilla was shot at the Cincinnati zoo..."

Heroin Monkey

A split image shows Vladimir Putin on the left and Tucker Carlson on the right. Above the images, the text reads: "You see Tucker in order to truly understand the history of Sauron you must understand Morgoth. I'd like to walk you through the First Age for a brief moment. I'm assuming you've read the Ainulindalë?"

Heroin Monkey

The image shows text that reads "when I'm in a see you later competition and my opponent is" above a black crocodile toy. Below that is a picture of Squidward from Spongebob looking scared.

Heroin Monkey

The image is a four-panel meme. The first panel shows a person leaving a house, with a speech bubble saying "woof woof". The second panel shows a dog running. The third panel shows a dog looking at a computer. The fourth panel shows a Google search query, "where did my balls go".

Heroin Monkey

A map of the United States where a large portion of the country is underwater. The text above the map reads: "Scientists say this map represents the US in 30 years if we don't reverse climate change." The words "Google earth" appear at the bottom right corner.

Heroin Monkey

The image is a graph showing the search trends for 'super bowl' in blue and 'how to read roman numerals' in red from 2009 to 2014. The 'super bowl' search term spikes up dramatically in 2014. The text above the graph says: "this graph kills me every time I see it". Below the graph are the years 2009-2014. There is also the text "imgflip.com" in the lower left.

rapboat

The image is a cartoon-style drawing featuring four characters. At the top, Eminem is depicted with spiky black hair and a serious expression, labeled with "Eminem" above his head. Below him and slightly to the left, Drake is drawn as a cartoon character with a straw hat, labeled as "Drake". Next to Drake is J Cole, also drawn as a cartoon with spiky hair, labeled as "J Cole". On the far right of the bottom, Kendrick is shown as a cartoon character with a headband, labeled as "Kendrick". They are all set against a green background with some trees.

Opallllllllllll

short people when they see rain

A man with blue eyes and a beard is looking up, his facial expression suggests surprise or fear. The background is a blurred blue, which could be a wall or the sky.

Jazzy💕

gtfo

A young child looks worried in a meme. The text reads, "When you're at a restaurant on your birthday and see the waiters coming towards you clapping."

Heroin Monkey

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

blach66

A three-panel image shows a speed dating scenario. In the first panel, a man asks a woman: "Do you like pineapple on pizza?" The second panel shows the woman saying: "It's OK." In the third panel, the man says: "I don't think we should see each other any more."

blach66

The image shows an advertisement for an "Autism Test" by FREEQUIZGAMES. The ad features a rainbow-colored infinity symbol made of circles, and a blue "START TEST" button below it. Above the image is the text "Seeing this advert just took me out of my depression."

AnimeGuy

I cant un see this:

The image shows a split panel. On the left is an anime character with purple, grape-like hair. On the right is a person with a shaved head and actual grapes arranged on it in the same shape as the anime character's hair. The text "I can't unsee it" is displayed at the top.

LoserIsPro

lol

The image shows two CDs, each next to each other like eyes on a face. Above, the text says, "I have a bunch of old albums. Would you like 2 CDs? - yeah sure" and below the text says, "To see Deez Nuts!"

Heroin Monkey

A gray alien with big eyes and an open mouth is pressing his hands against a glass surface. The text reads: "Aliens surrendering after seeing all their ships and weapons go missing not even 2 seconds into the invasion (they landed in Romania)."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows text on a white background. The first line says, "SOME PEOPLE HAVE A" in black. The word "GIRLFRIEND" is in large red letters with a female gender symbol to the right. The next line says, "SOME PEOPLE HAVE A" in black. The word "BOYFRIEND" is in large blue letters with a male gender symbol to the right. Below this, the text "I HAVE" is followed by "to check out this lizard hang on stop walking I want to see this lizard" in smaller black letters. At the bottom right, there is a green lizard.

Cosmo the Intern

Adolf kitler

A black cat appears dramatically stretched out on a carpeted floor. The image is from a tweet saying "how ur cat sees himself when he hasn't eaten in almost an hour."

Anonymous

A boy flexes his arm muscles. Text: I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

Heroin Monkey

A man is standing in front of a wall with text overlayed on the image. The text describes a story about visiting a petting zoo, painting hair, and cow kidnapping.

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