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1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

The image shows a parody of the movie poster for "Jaws" with the title "JAWAS". Instead of a shark, there are several Jawas swimming in formation under a swimmer.

The first part shows a tweet from the National Park Service stating: "You know it's cold outside when you go outside and it's cold." Below that is a reply from heychrisjones stating "Who is running this account?" The second part shows a reply from the National Park Service that contains an image. The image shows a marmot wearing a headset and sitting at a computer in an office setting.

A box of Oops! All CBD cereal sits next to a sleeping child. The cereal box has an image of a cartoon captain and says "Oops! All CBD". Text below says, "Now with twice the CBD!"

A Valentine's Day card featuring a picture of Rick Astley with the text: "i'll keep u rolling all night long. to: from:".

The image shows a 'No Fishing' sign on a wooden post with a person's hands holding a phone in front of it, displaying a fishing scene from the video game Minecraft. The sign reads 'NO FISHING' in large bold letters followed by 'PRIVATE PROPERTY' in smaller print.

A screenshot of a Daily Mail article. The headline reads: "Young man forced to post a photo of his passport on Facebook to prove his real name is 'Phuc Dat Bich'... after his account is banned THREE times". There is a smaller picture of the young man, and a passport image with the name "Phuc Dat Bich", and the dates 03 JAN 1992, 17 SEP 2013, and 17 SEP 2023. The passport is from Australia.

A picture of a small kitten, illuminated by a bright light with text on top that reads "Fully charged".

The image shows two headshots side by side. On the left, a young man named Dream looks at the camera with a slight smile. On the right, a cartoon character with orange hair and a sly smile, Rumpelstiltskin from Shrek, is displayed. The character's source is "ifunny.co".

A cartoon image of Spongebob's front door with two green balls stuck in the crack. The text says "Spongebob open the door. My balls are stuck."

A black, furry werewolf with glowing eyes stands on the stairs in a dark environment, looking directly at the viewer.

A photo shows two figures of Spongebob and Patrick that are realistic and somewhat unsettling. Patrick is pink and muscular with a serious expression, wearing green shorts. Spongebob is yellow, with human-like facial features including a wide smile, and a red tie and blue and white striped socks.

A close up image of a person holding a container of food out of the window of a car to feed an ostrich. The ostrich is very close with its head in the car window and the ostrich's reflection can be seen in the car mirror. There is a child in the back seat of the car.

$The image shows a video with 5 figures resembling Hitler standing on a white bed. The figures wear similar brown coats with red, green, and purple variations. Above the video, there is a text saying, "Me: \"Why do I keep on having strange thoughts? It's almost like I'm going crazy.\" The videos I watch at 2 am:". Below the video, there is the text "5 Little Hitlers are jumping on the bed".$

Nah bro, French be wild!

A multiple choice question in French with the sentence '_____-vous si le train est en retard?' The options are 'Sais', 'Savez', 'Connaissez', and 'Connais'.

2024

The image shows a split view of the same person. On the left, they have shorter hair, makeup and wear a green t-shirt, with the text "What are your Pronouns?" written in yellow. On the right, they are shirtless with facial hair, and text in purple that says "I'm a She/Them Titties".

The Radio Demon

That always annoys me, seeing people mess up your and you’re

The image shows a four-row table with five Hazbin Hotel characters. The table contains speech bubbles with the texts "your gay", "yea", "what about my gay?", "and you're not? Loser." and "*you're" with the third row including "*finger guns*". The first row shows Angel Dust looking unimpressed and responding with "yea" to the initial statement. The second row shows Husk looking confused and asking "what about my gay?". The third row shows Charlie using finger guns. The fourth row shows Angel Dust looking offended and responding with "and you're not? Loser.". The last row shows Alastor correcting the grammar with "*you're".

Brick 100

A pixel art image of a single brick with holes, rendered in shades of orange and red on a light purple background.

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