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Heroin Monkey
10 months ago
NEWS
Pantless driver dies
after being ejected
through his sunroof
while masturbating
to porn on a
cellphone when the
car crashed and
rolled over
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    A photo with three people on a yellow water slide in a green grassy area. Snoop Dogg is photoshopped at the top of the water slide, looking forward. He appears to be 'peeing' water onto the slide. Jay-Z is in the middle, lying on his belly, on the slide, with a green frisbee in hand and water running over him. In the background, a third person is kneeling and raising up two bottles of lotion.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    The image shows a wikiHow page titled "How to Have Fun When You're Poor". On the right, there is a depiction of a man experiencing hallucinations, with dolphins swimming around his head. On the left, a normal brain is shown.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    The image is a multi-panel format showing a scene from The Lord of the Rings in which a man with a helmet yells, "You will not touch him!" followed by a second panel of a dark figure who replies, "Fool."  The third panel shows the same dark figure with swords saying, "I have been trained in your Jedi arts by Count Dooku." The final panel shows the man with the helmet looking confused.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    The image shows a cartoon of Dr. Doofenshmirtz with a sinister grin. The text above the image reads: "How I feel after using my newest inator (my Glock) to zap (murder) Perry the Playtypus (innocent bystanders) and take over the tri-state area (the alcohol section of the grocery store)."
  • 0
  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    Americans read "Mein Kampf" by Adolf Hitler more than "War and Peace"!

    A map of the United States with different states colored to show the most searched books. The books are "War and Peace", "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer", "Wuthering Heights", "The Count of Monte Cristo" and "Mein Kampf". The color intensity represents the percentage of searches. "Mein Kampf" is searched more in several states, particularly in the mountain states.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    A collage of screenshots of Scotty Kilmer's YouTube videos. Each video has a different theme: using fuel additives when one can't afford beer, being drunk, and keeping secrets. The word "Secret" is overlaid twice on two different videos. The word "Drunk" is overlaid on one video.
  • 0
  • ιdᥲtᥱ ˖°𓇼🌊⋆🐚🫧
    10 months ago

    Very fine

    A cartoon-style drawing of a character with a happy expression, holding a drink with a smiley face on it. A speech bubble above the character's head reads "ISN'T JUST HAVING S*X FINE?"
  • 0
  • ιdᥲtᥱ ˖°𓇼🌊⋆🐚🫧
    10 months ago

    Tf you mean Kevin heart was at a Diddy party 😕

    A drawing of a person with pointy ears, messy hair, and a small crown. Their eyes are closed, and they are sweating with a spiral cloud over their head. To the right, another character with long hair appears with a star nearby.
  • 0
  • ιdᥲtᥱ ˖°𓇼🌊⋆🐚🫧
    10 months ago

    I collect STDs like Pokémon cards

    A cartoonish character with black hair, black ears, and a black tail with a fin, wearing red underwear with white hearts all over it. The character is smiling and has its arms akimbo.
  • 0
  • Labradorian🇨🇭🔥
    10 months ago
    The image shows a picture of a Kermit the Frog doll lying on a bed with a breathing mask on its face. The text above the picture reads, "Me after laughing at my own jokes." Below the image, the text says, "me before I even get the joke out."
  • 0
  • Labradorian🇨🇭🔥
    10 months ago
    A woman with a headscarf looks directly at the camera with the equation "5 + 5 = 10" superimposed in blue.
  • 0
  • Labradorian🇨🇭🔥
    10 months ago
    The image is a four-panel image. The top left panel contains the text "A video makes you laugh." The bottom left panel shows the TikTok logo and a search bar. The top right panel shows a man smiling. The bottom right panel shows the same man with a shocked expression.
  • 0
  • Labradorian🇨🇭🔥
    10 months ago
    The image is a picture of a green dinosaur with a contemplative expression. It is formatted to look like a meme. The text above the dinosaur reads "IS TIKTOK CALLED TIKTOK BECAUSE" and below the dinosaur reads "YOU'RE LITERALLY WASTING YOUR TIME?".
  • 0
  • Neptune ♆
    10 months ago

    i wanna know: favorite game from childhood?

    A blue penguin with an orange beak and feet stands against a white background. The penguin has its arms crossed in a sassy pose.
  • 2
  • Heroin Monkey
    11 months ago
    A doge with a colorful hat is holding a box of Tylenol in front of an open medicine cabinet. The text above the doge reads: "I just swallowed this entire box of 'red pills' I found in the medicine cabinet." The text below the doge reads: "Am I 'based' now?"
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    11 months ago
    A child's worksheet with a drawing of two characters. The one on the left is yelling, 'You broke my toy!' Red laser beams are coming from their eyes, while 'pee' and 'fart' are labeled next to their legs. The character on the right has laser beams coming from their eyes as well and says 'Homander, F*** I want' in their speech bubble. The worksheet is titled 'Making Up' by Aiden.
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    11 months ago
    A photo of a car with a shattered window. The text on the image says: "Be careful out there everyone. I had 2 copies of Concord in my car and someone broke in and left 4 more."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    11 months ago
    A dog sits at a desk in front of a computer, holding the book 1984 by George Orwell. The text on the image says: "I got banned from twitter today. Time to quote a book I never read."
  • 0
  • Heroin Monkey
    11 months ago
    The image shows a close-up of a loaf of meatloaf, with slices cut, on a white plate. The meatloaf has a reddish sauce on top, and is garnished with fresh herbs. The image also shows a wooden bowl with salt and pepper and some broccoli in the background. The text on the image says, "Me at 17: (uses fake ID for liquor). Me at loaf:"
  • 0
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