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Student

59 views · Shitpost master-general · 6 months ago

A news article headline states 'Student CRUCIFIES a rat on a wooden cross before burning it after catching the rodent 'eating his pet turtle''. Below the headline are two images. The left image shows a rat, appearing to be dead, tied to a small wooden cross made of two branches, which is propped up against a tree trunk in a grassy area. The rat's limbs are outstretched as if crucified. The right image is a close-up of the rat on the cross, showing its face and body more clearly, with wires or string wrapped around its limbs to the cross. The rat's mouth is open slightly.

Brain

41 views · ⛧ 𝓪𝓶𝔂 ⛧ · 2 years ago

😔

A table titled "Evolving From Violent Language" with two columns. The left column, under the heading "Instead Of", lists phrases with the word "concussion" in them. The right column, under "Say This," offers alternative silly phrases.

Guy

2 views · EnochTyr · 2 years ago

I know people like this, and by that I mean me.

The image shows text at the top that reads "me: rips up my drawing cause I messed it up". The text continues below the image that reads "the guy im tattooing:". Below this is an image of a startled-looking skull.

Trouble

7 views · Toast ツ · 2 years ago

A surveillance camera image of a room with tables. Two animated characters from the Pokemon series, Jessie and James of Team Rocket, are imposed on the image. Jessie is standing with her arms crossed, while James is holding a gun. The text overlay reads, "PREPARE FOR TROUBLE AND MAKE IT DOUBLE", along with a timestamp.

Pic

Blach66.1 · 2 years ago

Its time i send a pic of myself, yes it actually me

A person dressed as a ghost with a white sheet and a decorated headband is walking, and a group of teenagers are standing in the background.

Meme

Daddy dick · 3 years ago

i dont think that memes are what you think it memes

The image shows a man with long dark hair, a mustache, and a serious look on his face. The text "I DON'T THINK THAT MEMES WHAT YOU THINK IT MEMES" is overlaid on the image.

Haircut

Big daddy2.0 · 3 years ago

Happens every time

The image shows a split-screen meme with two images side-by-side. The left side is labeled "What I thought it would look like" and depicts a man with a stylish, layered blonde hairstyle. The right side is labeled "What it actually looked like" and shows a child with a short, bowl-cut style haircut.

it's

5 views · RealBoat · 1 year ago

Elvis with his future wife, Priscilla, who was 14 at
the time they met
BEST COMMENTS
MajesticFxxkingEagle • 1h
"Say Elvis...I heard you like 'em young"
Kloackster 45m
whop whop whop whop
Reply
Vote ↓
Vote
GlamdringBeater. 29m
"Tryna strike a chord, and it's prolly A-Minor"
This seriously might be the single best lyric ever
written.
202 people here
Add a comment
Ω
Vote
(GIF

Hunting

2 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

He doesn't have nuts anyway.

The image shows a two-panel comparison. The top panel depicts a man in hunting attire holding a rifle in a field. The text above reads, "If you think this was bad..." The bottom panel shows a man in a suit gesturing to a shotgun that has a yellow star burst around it and the text below reads "It could have been worse!"

Cost

8 views · Anonymous · 2 years ago

its kinda funny tho

The image shows three different lighting techniques, labeled as "The Good", "The Bad", and "The Ugly". Each technique is illustrated with a simple graphic of a stick figure standing next to a lamp post, with different light distribution. "The Good" shows light directed downwards and to the sides, with a dark sky. "The Bad" shows light going upwards and spreading, with a yellow background. "The Ugly" shows light directed downwards in a small cone, with the stick figure's head in shadow and only the bottom part illuminated.

Body

10 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A raccoon is lifting a barbell in a home gym. The text on the image says, "This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like."

Script

7 views · Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 1 year ago

A tweet from Joe Heenan stating he wrote a script during lockdown and received an email from someone at Netflix. The email reads, Dear Mr. Heenan, Thank you for the script, it's one of the best we have ever read. The writing is superb, it's tense, funny & non stop action. The only problem is it's the script to Die Hard. You literally sent us the script to Die Hard & changed the title to Mr. No Shoes and the Shooty Shooty Bang Bang Christmas. Never contact us again.

Backyard

4 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A black and white image shows a cat wearing a hat and smoking a cigarette. The text overlay asks, "If they find oil in my backyard it belongs to government, but if they find bodies in my backyard it belongs to me??" and also says "(Stay with me now)"

it's

39 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

MOM WHAT
THE FUCK!?
HOLY SHIT,
IT'S GREG!
MOM was GIVING HER WHOLE HEAD to Mr.
Winsky, and Vice Principal Roy is FUCKING DEAD!
As soon as I walked in these fuckers immediately acted
like they weren't just fucking crawling over each other.
That filthy homewrecker Mr. Winsky sent Mom and told
her to take me home. Fucking delinquents.
I have to tell Dad that Mom is a whore somehow. This
bitch needs to be sent to the streets.
3

Parody

23 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A page from a journal entry, drawn in the style of 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid.' The narrator, Greg Heffley, writes about his brother Manny. A comic strip illustrates Manny asking for help to tie his shoes in baby talk ("I'm onwee thwee, bubby! Hewp me tie my gawddayum shoes."). Greg responds in a speech bubble ("DATS FOWR NAWT TEACHING ME HOW TWO TIE MY SHOES, YOU FUCKING PLOOPY."). Below, Greg is shown kicking Manny, who flies into a wall causing cracks. The text continues with a consequence from Mom, where she shoots Greg in both legs, breaking his kneecaps.

Victim

39 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is split into two sections. The top section shows Hillary Clinton with text that reads "Women have always been the primary victims of war. Women lose their husbands, their fathers, their sons in combat. - Hillary Clinton". The bottom section shows a man looking sad with text that reads "MEN HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE PRIMARY VICTIMS OF RAPE. IT HAPPENS TO THEIR WIVES, THEIR MOTHERS, AND THEIR DAUGHTERS."

N word

25 views · Wade XL · 2 years ago

The image shows a screenshot with text at the top and a man with a shocked expression at the bottom. The text reads: "technically you can call a black guy the n word and I came up with this theory and it's called NROENB it's stands for NO Rasicts Or Equality Not Both. So my theory is that if black ppl call each other the n word then because they want Equality it means that Whites can call Blacks the n word Whites can call Whites the n word Blacks can call Whites the n word Blacks can call Blacks the n word. And Asians are somewhere in the middle."

Hello There

14 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The meme shows a text conversation where a "pretty girl" says "Hello there ;)". The user's brain repeats "don't say it" multiple times. The bottom part of the image shows General Grievous, a character from Star Wars, in a screenshot, implying that the user couldn't resist saying "Hello there".

Life

3 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows the development of a person through four stages of life. In the first picture, the figure is an old man with a hat standing next to a door, the second picture is a man sitting on a chair with a question mark, and the third picture is a man kneeling with a stressed expression, the last picture is a boy drawing on an easel. The text "It starts with" is at the top. The text "one thing" is near the beginning. The text "I don't know why" is above the next picture. The text "It doesn't even matter how hard you try" is above the last picture.

Breakup

3 views · 𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾 · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a text message exchange. The conversation starts with "Baby listen...", followed by "Say baby <3", then "Let's breakup". The sender replies "I wanted to say this from a long time ago, I thought it may hurt you, but you also feel the same let's breakup then, bye." The final message is "And marry <3 <3".

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