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Scam

155 views · Shitpost master-general · 3 months ago

A close-up photograph of a bald Black man with a mustache driving a vehicle, looking intensely and suspiciously directly ahead. Text above reads: "when you know Minimalism is just a scam by big small to sell more less but just can't prove it yet".

Bro

1 view · ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡 · 3 years ago

bro instead of detos its meat toes

Two meatloafs shaped like feet on a baking sheet, with red sauce on top of the ankle and small pieces of white material attached as toenails.

Floor

2 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Online class

2 views · GG Miller · 2 years ago

The image shows four panels arranged in a two-by-two grid. The top left panel depicts a person with their hand on their head, the brain highlighted in red, showing a headache. The top right panel shows a translucent human torso with a red highlighted spine, indicating back pain. The bottom left panel displays a person rubbing their eyes, conveying fatigue or eye strain. The bottom right panel shows a close-up of a bloodshot eye. Above the four panels is the text "How was the online class? What did you get from it?" followed by "Me:".

Thought

1 view · shaylie lol · 1 year ago

A cartoon image features a person saying it's hot, followed by an image of Homer Simpson looking nervous while trying not to say "so take off all your clothes".

it's

6 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

Are you out of mind!
Why do you carry those bricks!
Now is bedtime!
I'm tryna get like you
mama I mean you got
them airbag titties
like hubba hubba
honk honk type shitt
wanna know what it
feels like to carry
around all that
weight you been
carrying around all
your life I mean at
least since you was 14
not that I would've
been into it at that
age I'm just sayin like
you got them
bazooka bubble
breast and I'm tryna
chew on that
experience got me
bricked up fr fr

Pineapple

1 view · blach66 · 2 years ago

A three-panel image shows a speed dating scenario. In the first panel, a man asks a woman: "Do you like pineapple on pizza?" The second panel shows the woman saying: "It's OK." In the third panel, the man says: "I don't think we should see each other any more."

Point

blach66 · 2 years ago

A black and white portrait of a person with a pig's face and the text "WE NEW IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN AT SOME POINT." Below the pig's face, the text "JOHN PORK" is visible.

Russia

2 views · Blach66.1 · 2 years ago

A news report on a space mission failure with the headline "Russia's Luna-25 spacecraft crashes into Moon" and the text "Do you blame it? Like it is Russian after all" above the news report. The news source is BBC.

Snail

6 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image is a six-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a man is pointing up and saying, "If salt kills snails, then if my hypothesis is correct". The second panel shows a snail in a box with pepper being sprinkled over it and text saying, "Pepper should, in fact, bring them back to life!". The third panel shows the snail glowing with a bright light. The fourth panel shows a giant snail with the man standing at his feet and text saying, "Oh god, I was wrong. It just makes them huge and horny!!". The fifth panel shows a huge snail close-up with long tendrils and text saying, "Now lemme get ya slimey- I wanna nibble on your virginity!". The sixth panel shows the man crying and screaming with a snail tendril coming towards him with text saying, "Mum get the salt! Get the f***ing salt!"

Minecraft movie

11 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The text reads: Calling it now. The Minecraft movie is gonna have a scene where Jack Black gets hit in the balls or something and says "Ack! My cubes!" because he has cubes for balls and the joke is that his balls are cubes.

Diary entry

21 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a page from a diary with hand-written text and a small drawing of a person on a couch looking dejected.

Hamster

16 views · Cosmo idk · 1 year ago

A picture shows a research lab with three scientists in lab coats. In the foreground, two scientists have their arms raised and their bodies are slightly bent over as if in shock. Behind them is another scientist and all around them are small hamsters with flames coming out of their backs. There is text at the bottom which reads: "Before DOGE Cuts Funding, NIH Working Feverishly To Complete Study On The Effects Of Giving Meth To Jetpack-Wearing Hamsters. CAMBRIDGE, MA - A team of high-level researchers expanded its working hours this week to intensify efforts to finish an important project before the D..."

Fish

3 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A person underwater wearing a Rolex watch, with text overlayed in a message format. The text reads: "mogged this idiot. Going band for band with a fish is insane. Buddy couldn't handle it and swam away."

Booty

6 views · RapBoat · 1 year ago

The image is a two-panel comic showing examples of appropriate and inappropriate workplace behavior. In the top panel, a man is labeled "APPROPRIATE" and says, "She got a big booty so I call her Big Booty (Booty)." A woman at her desk responds, "AWWW, YOU'RE SWEET." In the bottom panel, a man is labeled "INAPPROPRIATE" and says, "Grippy, huh. Grippy, I call her that 'cause it's grippy." The same woman is now on the phone, saying, "HELLO, HUMAN RESOURCES?!" The faces of the men are replaced with pictures of the rappers Gunna and J. Cole respectively.

Seafood diet

1 view · Anonymous · 1 year ago

A boy flexes his arm muscles. Text: I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

Sign

3 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image is divided into two columns. On the left, a small brown dog with swollen cheeks is shown under the word "FIGGLEBOTTOM". On the right, a man is shown with a red "X" over his face under the word "ALPHA". Below, text from a YouTube video says: "5 Signs You're a 'FiggleBottom' Male (SUPER RARE) & Is it Better Than 'ALPHA'?"

Equation

3 views · sonicjokesmemesandposts · 1 year ago

if i had 8 good women what does that mean

A screenshot of a text explaining a calculation. The text states that, according to Kanye West, one good girl is worth a thousand bitches, and according to Lil Wayne, bitches are cheap. The text calculates that, therefore, one good girl is worth $8.33. It refers to this as a 'basic equation substitution method' and 'could be a SAT question'

Condom

2 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A chaotic battle scene with numerous figures in armor wielding weapons. Text on top reads: "IT'S THE FINAL CONDOM" and text on the bottom: "OR WHATEVER EUROPE SAID"

Megamind

1 view · ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡 · 3 years ago

lol

A picture of Megamind with a harness. The text reads "THAT'S IT. I AM GOING MEGAMIND SEXY."

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