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Item memes

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Family

Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

A screenshot of a computer screen showing a severe moderation notice from an online platform. The title reads "Family Execution on 7/30". The text below states, "Our content monitors have determined that your behavior is a violation of our Terms of Use. Reviewed: 5/28/2020 12:03:19 AM (CT). Moderator Note: A Hitman Will be Sent to Your House. Reason: Inappropriate. Offensive Item: yo waffles are kinda fire ngl. Your Family Will Die. If you wish to appeal, please contact us via the Support." A "Logout" button is visible at the bottom right.

Artifact

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡 · 3 years ago

sussy game artifact

The image shows two in-game items. One is labeled "Lube", a legendary artifact that increases dodge chance. The other is a "Walking Cane", an epic artifact that increases speed.

Dad

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) · 3 years ago

Sharpness V belt

A cartoon image of Squidward from Spongebob with wide eyes and mouth open. The text reads: "Minecraft fans when their dad whips out his sharpness V belt" and a comment reads: "I have a van enchanted with lure III".

Battery

Anonymous · 3 years ago

*Sniffs kids*

The image shows a toy action figure box with the text SLEEPY JOE ACTION FIGURE written on it. Inside the box, there is a depiction of Joe Biden with his head slumped forward. Below it, the text reads BATTERIES *NOT* INCLUDED and a warning that the item contains socialism. Below that in a separate text box, is the text JUST ADD AAA BATTERIES AND HE SHITS HIS PANTS. In the upper right corner it reads NEW FOR CHRISTMAS: THE SLEEP JOE INACTION FIGURE. There is a red and white target circle with a blue dart to the right of the figure box.

Shipping

Anonymous · 1 year ago

The image is a side-by-side comparison featuring two images of a bald man, presumably Hank from Breaking Bad. On the left, the man is smiling, and text above reads "$40 Item Free Shipping." On the right, the man is frowning, and the text above reads "$35 Item $5 Shipping."

Fortnite

Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

A screenshot of the Fortnite in-game shop displaying three items for purchase. The main heading is 'Jerkmate Ranked'. The first item is a 'Jerkmate Ranked' bundle, marked as 1,200 V-bucks off, and originally priced at 2,400-3,600 V-bucks. It features a half-red, half-blue robot character (Jerkbot) and associated items. The 'Jerkbot' character is also available separately for 1,600 V-bucks. The second item is 'Lube Looter', a pickaxe shaped like two white lotion bottles, priced at 800 V-bucks. The third item is 'Leaked CIA Files', depicted as a brown folder, priced at 1,200 V-bucks. Overlaid text at the bottom reads: 'Fortnite really just be collaborating with anyone.'

Theft

Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A top-down shot of a large amount of groceries laid out on a table, including boxes of cereal, packaged meats (chicken and beef), bags of snacks (Cheez-It, chips), canned goods (tuna, crushed tomatoes, green beans), cartons of milk, jugs of water, and other various food items. Above the image, text reads: "@entrapanure here's what $0 gets you at a grocery store if you're not a pussy".

Education

Nintendo Fan · 1 year ago

The image shows a progression of Spongebob Squarepants through different stages of education and finally work. In elementary school, Spongebob looks innocent next to simple math equations. In middle school, he's confused next to a quadratic equation. In high school, he looks muscular next to a complex integral. In college, he appears even more powerful next to another integral. Finally, in a job, he looks bored next to a list of office supplies and their costs.

Mate

Toast ツ · 2 years ago

The image shows a video game inventory screen with different food items. The text at the top reads "When your mate Oatcakes is up to his wacky antics again." Below, there is a section titled "CLASSIC OATCAKES". There are three food items: "MEDLEY BAKING CO. ASSORTED BISCUITS" with the number 4, "SCHMITZ SWEET C" with the number 2, and then "classic oatcakes" with the number 7.

Basement

Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A photograph of a crudely constructed mace-like weapon lying on a wooden floor. The weapon has a wooden handle wrapped with black electrical tape, a spiked head made of several metallic, pointed objects, and a silver-colored, teardrop-shaped butt plug attached to the very end of the handle. The text on the image reads: "I found this in my friend's basement. What is this? Posted in r/ItemShop".

Cut

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A person's arm with many fresh cuts is shown. A barcode scanner is pointed towards the arm. The text says "*beep* "I'm sorry this item is worthless."

First day of school

Heroin Monkey · 6 months ago

A collection of items laid out on a grey fabric, resembling a backpack's interior. The items include a small bottle of Absolut Vodka, an inverted wooden cross, multiple beaded rosaries or necklaces in various colors, a box of Xanax tablets, and a folding knife with a wooden handle. Overlayed text in white reads "first day of school" followed by a pink heart emoji.

Patrick star

Big daddy2.0 · 3 years ago

Dident come in a package

The image shows a close-up of Patrick Star's face from Spongebob Squarepants. His eyes are wide and red, and his expression is one of disbelief. Above Patrick, it says "Me: *Returns an item* The orphanage:".

Craft

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

guys i unlocked the forbidden item in infinite craft

An image with a dark background, a stylized galaxy icon inside a rounded rectangular element and the text '???' next to it.

Card

Anonymous · 4 months ago

if you know you know

A meme consisting of two panels. The left panel shows a custom Uno card that says "Stop stealing player items OR draw 25". The right panel is a digital drawing of a character with long black hair, red eyes, and a blue shirt sitting at a table. The character is holding an enormous, fanned-out hand of Uno cards, indicating they chose to draw 25 cards instead of stopping their behavior.

Food

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Google review by Todd, where he says the service was awful but the food was great, and the service was so bad it was entertaining. Below, another user commented, "Hey Todd, go kill yourself. Why don't you try opening..."

Choice

Heroin Monkey · 3 months ago

A meme on a pink background titled "YOU CAN ONLY PICK 2". It features nine colored pills (red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink, brown, black) each with a unique superpower or trade-off listed below it. The options range from financial wealth with a yearly physical cost to specific sexual or violent abilities, and niche gaming skills.

Accuracy

Thoughtless · 2 years ago

I am smart!

The image shows a game summary with the text "Hats off to You, Genius!" above. Below there is a message stating "You have new items in the shop for your Qbit! Buy items for Qbit". There is an accuracy bar that is 14% filled. Finally, the score is 7130.

House

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

bro wtf is tihs ad

A video game ad showing a baby crawling away from a man in an orange shirt in a house. The text says, "Play Whos Your Daddy. Play Around In Your Two-Story House And Garden Packed With Potentially Dangerous Items. Sponsored. MaxLevelFun. Download"

Water

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

No way they had it🥀🥀🥀

A photograph shows five blue glass bottles of Saratoga natural spring water on a shelf in a grocery store. Price tags read '$2.27', '$1.99', and '$3.19 $2.79'. One tag says 'New item'. The bottles are labeled with "Saratoga", "Since 1872", "Still", and "Natural Spring Water."

Velcro

Big Daddy · 7 years ago

You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.