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Cut Memes

People will bet on everything... ...I mean nothing.

A screenshot of a prediction market titled "Nothing Ever Happens: May." The market rules state that it will resolve to "No" if Russia and Ukraine agree to a ceasefire, the next Pope is Black, the Fed cuts rates, India invades Pakistan, or Israel or the US take military action against Iran. Otherwise, it will resolve to "Yes."

A car is on the freeway, taken from the perspective of the car behind it. A text overlay says: "This guy cut me off on the freeway today. I'm not even mad."

A white cat wearing glasses and a bow tie is sitting at a table with scientific glassware. There is a blackboard behind it with formulas on it. The text reads: "What do you get when you cut an avocado into 6x10^23 pieces? Guacamole."

Cosmo the Intern

A picture shows a research lab with three scientists in lab coats. In the foreground, two scientists have their arms raised and their bodies are slightly bent over as if in shock. Behind them is another scientist and all around them are small hamsters with flames coming out of their backs. There is text at the bottom which reads: "Before DOGE Cuts Funding, NIH Working Feverishly To Complete Study On The Effects Of Giving Meth To Jetpack-Wearing Hamsters. CAMBRIDGE, MA - A team of high-level researchers expanded its working hours this week to intensify efforts to finish an important project before the D..."

A cartoon shows a man standing atop a large pile of money, holding a sign that says "TAX CUTS." He is yelling "YOU JUST WANT FREE STUFF!!" while pointing at a group of people holding signs that say "Affordable Housing", "Universal Healthcare", and "Affordable College".

A layered cake with blue, pink, and white frosting is sitting on a white cake stand. The question is asked if the cake is scary and a comment below states that they have always wanted a cake that cuts itself.

Right, the bit as the bottom... i mean, look i keep myslef open on systems to rule empires and shit should i ever need to be it.

A drawing of a hydra with multiple heads. The text on the image reads: "Hydra System. The Hydra is simple, every 2 represents a 1. When a head is cut, its twin must lead the next 2 novice heads. This means when every weak point is exercised the weak spot is a new offense. The perfect system."

A Twitter post with a user asking a hypothetical question about getting their penis stuck in a ketchup bottle, followed by two replies.

The image shows a text overlay on an image of Elmo surrounded by flames. The text reads "Me: *puts on hand sanitizer* A cut I never knew existed:". The Elmo image is a well known template for meme creation.

Unimportant Intelligence

wow

A person getting a haircut with the text "Did you know? If you cut your hair, it gets shorter."

A screenshot shows Chris Paul looking dejected with the text "Drake releasing 'The Heart Part 6'" above him and text from a video: "Chris Paul hits a huge three to cut the lead down to 42" at the bottom. A basketball game score is visible with DAL 107 and PHX 65.

A person's arm with many fresh cuts is shown. A barcode scanner is pointed towards the arm. The text says "*beep* "I'm sorry this item is worthless."

Every god damn day

The image shows the text "Me: *puts on hand sanitizer* A cut I never knew existed:" above a picture of Elmo engulfed in flames.

The image shows a text that reads: "Me: *puts on hand sanitizer* A cut I never knew existed:" below this text we see Elmo in flames with a very shocked expression.

The image shows a red Elmo character surrounded by flames. Above Elmo's head, there is text that reads, "Me: *puts on hand sanitizer* A cut I never knew existed:".

The image shows the text 'Me: *puts on hand sanitizer* A cut I never knew existed:' above a picture of Elmo with flames in the background.

CrackedRuby_alt

Welp

A four-panel cartoon shows a pink man with a paper cut on his arm. He looks alarmed. In the next panel he stands next to a box that says "In case of emergency break glass". In the third panel he punches the glass to break it. In the last panel he stands with a heavily bleeding arm next to the broken box.

tru tho

The image shows a text saying "Me: *puts on hand sanitizer*" followed by "A cut I never knew existed:". Below the text is an image of Elmo from Sesame Street engulfed in flames with a distressed facial expression.

DoubleDownCheeks

Fill it out if u want

A list of possible life experiences with checkboxes, titled "#THINGS I HAVE DONE PROJECT". The experiences are categorized into emotional, social, and health-related items. Some examples are: "Been in Love", "Broken Hearts", "Had Sex", "Been to Jail", "Been Bullied", "Been Depressed", "Have/Had an Addiction", "Attempted Suicide", "Overdosed", "Seen a Therapist", "Have Other Mental Disorders". The text "@violetsunlight7" is on the right side of the image.

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