Love jokes
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomach?
Gf: Babe, do you love me?
Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.
Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...
Bf: Exactly.
Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. We're gonna make love because I'm stronger than you.
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
Why do emos love jumping in water?
Because it involves a rope.
ALWAYS ME
What's the sound that dwarfs make when they have sex?
Broken plates.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish.
What is the name of the political party in the United States that was founded in 1971 and has lost a presidential election since 1972, and is more politically corrupted than the man boy love association of America because it is politically motivated?
Libertarian Party.
I love telling jokes about orphans.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What famous book writer for kids loved insects?
Beatrix Potter.
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
This black dude goes up to an Indian guy and says, "What up brotha?"
The Indian guy gets offended and says, "We are not the same."
The black guy then pulls out a gun, and the Indian guy says, "Ok brother, ok brother, we are the same, we are the same."
Do the voice in your head.
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him…
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
I turned off all the beeping machines in the hospital. I love the peace and quiet, but I don't know why everyone is sleeping cause it's only 8 am.
Dad, why are we here?
Because you're not loved.
Asians love it when a British person says "Rice!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!
#takemebacksophie