Loss jokes
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
Why can't orphans sleep? Nobody can tuck them in.
What's an upside of being an orphan?
You'll never get grounded again.
Why do the orphans fuck in their cars?
Because they don't know what a home is.
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture with it's family?
A self-fie.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait........
You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?
Wait..........
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't go to home plate.
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
I look at an orphanage, then hug my mum. He just looks sad and crude because he couldn’t find his mum.
Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
Who has no home?
Orphans.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan?
Because it has no home button.
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
... family photo.
What's an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
I was gonna tell a memory loss joke, but I forgot it.
Why does a girl orphan want a boyfriend?
To finally call someone Daddy!