somtimes i look at my butt for a really really long time and suddenly it all becomes clear to me
Hi guys the prankster is backster!
I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named gwen! So my 6th prank is on...
When I put some bad stuff in my sisters tooth past bottle!
Okay so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tastying is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there so I got some mints and putted it there! Then next thing you new was! My sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzes buttock!
Husband: Honey, Do you want sex? Whife: No thanks i have a headache. Husband: Is that your final answer? Whife: Mmmmm. Husband: Are you shure? -Whife Yes Husband: No doubts? Whife: No Husband starring a long time at his whife. Husband: Okey, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend. -
An old lady walks into an adoption centre and the lady that runs the business says “Oh, haven’t seen you in a long time!”
Guess what's 'tiiiimmeeeee ABDE'?
....yes, it is long time no see
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to want to change.
I ask my sister why does the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time. My siister said to me I love him long time.
Me and my mom order Chinese food. My mom grab the egg roll, and start licking it up and down, and sucking on it in from of the Chinese delivery. I said why are you doing that for. Then my mom I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food.
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
if it is some-ones birthday say this for a joke a long time ago in a far away galaxy
YOU WERE BORN!!!!
If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety
Help me....
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses, she missed very much.
She told her "Hey, long time no see."
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time, no sea.
