Morbid jokes

Sad and lonely

If I was an object in this world I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I’m a star! Because one of these days I’m going to crash and burn…

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I’d be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I’m like the sun; I’m painful to look at.

If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I’m like an eggshell… broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature I’d be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I’m like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it’s dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I’m like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I’m like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I’m like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I’m like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I’m like a shity book cover… because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can’t afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety

Help me…

Comments (58)

S

Stop it, gets some help

M

Meow

F

This is pretty bad

K

I live you

M

m o o d

M

Lol

A

I feel the EXACT same way

A

You are not alone in feel the same if you ever want to talk txt me at 318-541-1541. Actually txt me okay!?!?

N

Kys

A

Go get help. For real.

P

You're not alone in those feelings, I get that way too

M

I'm with you, I know the feeling. But it will be over soon. I worked through my depression, too. Just don't give up. Much love.

N

I'm with you

H

MOOD

I

you know wat......this is the most depressing thing I've ever heard RELATABLE!!!!! WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER QUEEN

D

Nice one bro

Don't think of the past think of the future. I don't have a lot to say except to keep living. there will be the shitheads in life, but remember, there will always be those who acknowledge you, who care.

H

hola

L

Baby I gotchu, it’s 2:21 am where I’m at and I can’t sleep because anxiety and insomnia is the cousin that depression felt obligated to bring to the party. I am that party. If we suffering we might as well suffer together

G

It’ll all get better as time goes on. I wish you the best.

K

haha nub

U

I believe in Unicorns -_- Soo I believe in YOU!

U

lmao

G

you used the phrase 'if i was' 4 times, which is incorrect. You should have used the subjunctive 'if i were' which presents a possibility instead of suggesting a previous event.

D

Good poem. Ye not really a joke but it's good so WGAF.

T

Stolen

F

I feel your pain every day. I am an msw. Trained in cbt. I've been a professional for 15 years now. Who ever is saying, get over it, things will get better.. are talking out there ass. It doesn't get better with time, it gets worse. The more you don't get help the worse it will get. It took me 29 years to seek help, I was embarrassed of myself. I was raised to be an alpha! I am! It comes out in bad, angry, violent, ways though. I'd really like to talk to you. Make sure you're safe contact me

K

Sounds like life is really painful for you right now buddy. I know the feeling all to well. I'm here to talk if you ever want or need. kristae1988@gmail.com

D

Hahaha that’s f...ing hilarious!

A

If You're Depressed Get Help Don't Post Something Like This On A Joke Site. People Come Here For Laughs Not To Read Someone Wallow In Self Pity. I Know I Sound Like An A......, But Stuff Like This Can Come As Some Tumblr Level Attention Grabbing/Seeking.

H

Bro dont get help on a joke site and especially not a dark humour side. i came here for laughs not for depression

A

Don't worry! You'll be okay as long as you keep your life under control! My brother has depression, my sister has ADHD and I have ADD, ODD, ADHD, depression, and I have been through cancer and over 10 surgeries. And I'm only 13! I know how you feel! I have severe social anxiety and I'm even too afraid to talk to my parents about it,and I can barley talk to my therapist. If you get help, it will impact your life! please!

I

And all these jokes we made about our depression was just screams and shouts for help... i really get you bro depression is some shit

A

this is litterly my life I cant even spell litterly

I

It is going to be okay. I just had my third panic attack today. I got threw it you can to.

R

everything is okay. we all love you. i suffer from anxiety and panic attacks too. you have people who love you and dont want you to leave us. please find something to love back

T

This is me every day This is what I would think of any time of the day

T

I am a chocolate bunny I am delicious on the outside and empty in the inside This is how love is in reality

P

Get help please! Just know you're not alone, mate.

J

too much reading

A

If this is a joke then, WOO HOO you got us! But if its not a joke then please get off this website and go get some help please.

N

that's so sad be strong UwU😢😥😥😥

S

Oof for u and everyone else that said "I feel u boi" i have no depression, but i think this just put me in trauma. T>T

J

lonber

R

Thats so sad

T

I hope you're dead by now.

Z

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

I

You would be glass pretty to look at You would be pineapple bc you’re unique and ppl just need to give you a try You would be a star shinny and bright People would care if you became extinct. You would be like the sun, shining your light everywhere Hey I like you and I bet at least someone likes chopped liver, or it wouldn’t exist You would be an eggshell, necessary for the egg

I

You would be a unicorn, beautiful and magical You would be a flashlight, giving light to the ppl who need it. You would be a raisin bc a lot of ppl do like you, not everyone, but nobody is liked by everyone You would be the moon so pretty and everyone stares at you You would be a fan bc you -figuratively- blow ppl away! You would be a camera to be there for ppl at their best You would be a book with a bad cover, ppl just need to give you a chance and they’ll realize it’s the best book

I

they’ve ever read. You need to look on the bright side of things! Lean into the ppl who love you, not the ones who don’t. Sry it’s in 3 parts. You can’t comment more then 50 letters lol

I

You are loved😍😍😍

.

this is really sad... this is a lesson for all of us to be bright and shine while we can

C

Ayyy I hope this bruhda or sista is still alive tho

D

Dude is this guy okay i say as i continue to scroll through depressing jokes to make myself feel better

D

i feel bad for you..... BUT YOU NEED SOME EXPENSIVE THEREAPY

H

I can relate

E

ew. 11 y/os who think they have depression because an online test said so.

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