Lock Jokes

Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?

The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.

Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.

There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

So I got asked why I suddenly started wearing a beret, and I said, "Well, you never know when you need to pick a lock."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Theodore.

Theodore who?

Theodore is locked, that is why I knocked.

I like my women how I like my wine.

14 years aged and locked in a cellar.

Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.

I like women how I like my hair dryer: locked in a closet most of the time and only being used to blow me dry.

Q: How do you make a door cry?

A: Twist its knob.

I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.

Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.