Living Will jokes

D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!

Me: My therapist says I need those to live.

D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_

I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"

I saw this boy named Phone. He said where would he live? I said an orphanage.

I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.

Our hairline goes way back before dinosaurs lived.

There's a plane crash. Every single person died.

Who lived? The married people!

Why can't homeless people buy a house?

'Cause they live on the streets.

Yo mama sooooo stupid, she bought tickets to Xbox Live!

My live.

Raju: How about you, Sunil?

Do you know?

Sanju: Sunil is my long distance

is a brother.

Raju: Long brother?

Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.

Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.

What do a mole and an eagle have in common?

They live underground, except for the eagle. Lol.

Which room is the safest place in the house?

The living room.

I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.

Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.

I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.

Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.

Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.

I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.

(Male fantasy)

Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.

I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.

I called her the Fallen Angel.

Why was the rapper always happy?

Because he lived life on the rhyme side!