Living Will Jokes

Mommy mommy! Are we going to live forever? Only in your dreams.

I love Alabama. I live their. I have a sign that says Sweet Home Alabama!

Why cant homeless people but a house

CUS THEY LIVE ON THE STREETS

Yo mama soooo stupid she bought tickets *TO X-BOX LIVE*

there's a plane crash every single person died who lived? the married people!

Which room is the safest place in the house? The living room.

Water bottles, strong, Standing tall, like sturdy men, Quenching every thirst.

Clear and transparent, Reflecting strength and resolve, Resilient and pure.

In hand, they offer Refreshing relief, like hugs, Soothing every soul.

Water bottles, like men, Nourish and hydrate our lives, Simple yet vital.

When you're in a cage But it's not real!

Being in a cage But you have the key

Being in a cage But nobody sees you

Being outside of a cage- but it's empty

Living and realizing you've been born into one

Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**-

But you can't live without them.

The cage Is you. you have the key But you don't know how to use it.

May our days be abundant, a dance of delight, Will I navigate life with courage, taking flight. May our journey be a beauty, a blessing so sweet, I will celebrate friendships, where hearts and souls meet.

May our nights be bright, with laughter and cheer, May we live with love, eliminating every fear. I will grow in kindness, a serenade of grace, May our lives be a marvel, a splendid embrace.

3 europeans come to America. They all get captured by native americans and they want to kill them. But the europeans beg to have their lives spared. The native americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The native american says “Shove it up your butt, if you laugh we kill you.” So, he shoves the peach up his butt and he laughs, and the native americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The native american tells him the same thing. He laughs and the native american kills him. They both see eachother in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, “I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy so thats why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?” The second guy says, “Oh yea I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”

Make a wish Kid: I don't want to go to Disney World, I just want to keep living my life

Make a Wish Staff: Get the F*** out

"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth including an increase in child abuse" said the village priest. The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media. "Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!" "Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey". they reported

The village priest is living at his majesties convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.

"Why is this a joke, its not even funny?" Said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.

What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

3 guys landed on a cannibal island. the Cannibal chef told them if you want to live to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to me and I will tell you what to do. so the first guy brings 10 apples and the chef said if you can shove all 10 of those in your ass without making a sound you can live. He was 3 apples in made a sound and they ate him. the second guy brought grapes. 9 grapes in and burs ted out laughing. The Cannibals ate him. then the first guy said why you laugh you were almost there. the other guy who had the grapes said I couldn't help it I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples.

Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.

Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.

Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.

Little Johnny was living with his granpa durring the summer...Well grampa had a beer and Johnny said “grampa, let me get a sip of that” Grampa said “well lil Johnny, does your dk reach your a?” and lil Johnny said "well no sir"And grampa said then no you cant. Later that day papaw(granpa) had a ciggar and Johnny said let me get a hit of that and papaw asked well Johnny does your dk reach your a and Johnny said no again and then papaw was shootin his gun and johnny asked if he could shhot it and granpa asked Johnny if his dk reached his a and johnny sid no well after supper Johnnys granma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER) and granpa said “Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream” and Johnny asked papaw "well papaw does your dk reach your a nd papaw said “well Johnny as a matter of a fact it does” and johnny said “good, now go fck your self cause you aint gettin none of my ice cream!”

I think I found the worst joke in life ,For me it's that i have always been unwanted and alone for my hole life and I've have never even been In a relationship with anyone and I'm 31 years old and I also know that deep down, I'm always going to be alone and unhappy ,all I get out of life, is seeing everyone else with someone ,and knowing it will never happen for me , I think that's the worst joke I can think of .LIFE. Still living when you know you'll never find someone to be with I apologize with the wording to this it's another thing I am a failure at

feel free to comment

There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl Beyond belief her name was Rayne but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him but one day she did and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no that’s not right Sammy actually snuck in Raynes house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End .

Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not. Not yet says little Johnny so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, I saw you kick the chickens so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either. Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says you want to tell him or should I?