I have 25 friends in the alphabet.
But I don't know why.
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
Sayo-nara.
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.
A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
What do you call a cute door?
Adoorable.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
I would name my daughter Awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.
I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.
If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.
Dick.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?
A: Cuatro Cinco.
