Kilo jokes
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
What's the difference between a square peg in a round hole and a kilo of lard?
One's a good lot of fat; the other's a fat lot of good.
Community
You're so fat that when you got on the scales they said "I need your weight not your phone number" You're so fat that an oragami crane has less folds than you. You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat people shout out "taxi" You're so fat, the photo I took of you last christmas is still printing.
You're so fat that when you want to iron your pants, you have to go out to your driveway. … Read more