Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
I kick a soccer ball at someone in a wheel chair now were playing rocket league
KNOCK KNOCK. Whose there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana kick your a**!
So here’s this funny story and it’s true. So my mom has this friend when this guy was a kid he was on the school bus and this Mexican kid checked him into the isle so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox and he started bleeding then they both get banned from the bus for a few days so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”
Why can't a orphan play kick ball be cause the can't hit the home plate
why did the ball person go to the docter
He was kicked in the balls
This Dwarf was being mean to me so I said “when you get home I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you.”
officer, I drop-kicked that child in SELF-DEFENSE!
You gotta believe me!
There are three people on the steps of Heaven. God tells them all he is having a good day and if they make him laugh by telling him how they died he will let them in. The first one said I just finished a long day of work and I get home and right as I stepped in I knew my wife was cheating on me. I searched everywhere and I couldn’t find anybody so I got a drink and went to the balcony and then I saw him, hanging off the ledge of the balcony. I kicked his hands but he wouldn’t fall so I threw a Refrigerator at him and I fell with the Refrigerator. God busted out laughing and let him in. The next person walked up and God told him the same thing he told the other person. God told him that he didn’t think that he could make him laugh more than the first person. The second guy said, so get this I’m a window washer on the 8th floor I’m washing the windows like normal and this enraged psychopath walks up and starts kicking my hands and then he throws a refrigerator at me and I die. God bursts out laughing so much to where he falls off his chair and he lets the guy through. The next guy comes up and God tells him the same thing he told the last two people and he tells him that there is no way that he can make him laugh more than the other two did. So he starts talking. So get this I’m in a refrigerator...
Miss Kadie- I heard that the Westburow Baptist church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people. Pastor- welcome to the gay matters church. Miss Kadie- stop that you know that god hates gay people Me- stop that vegan teacher. Pastor- you deserve to die - I attack
I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped up kicks"
how to kick a deaf person off the plane step1 pretend to yell and get some friends to do it too step 2 tell your friends to raise both of there hands step 3 hes out of the plane on a parachute.
Emo kids are so good at kicking football I hear they have good hang time
Why did the chicken cross the road why? because the wanted to kick someone in the family
Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfather's? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.
so i went to my freinds house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out i dont like visitors.
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
if you kick a orphan what are they gonna do tell there parents on you
Me: want to play 911
My little brother: what’s that
Me: It’s where i kick your legs and you fall
I HATE URANUS I WANNA KICK IT!
