Jackson jokes

Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...

Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...

In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.

Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.

The police: You finally figured it out.

Nobody:

Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.

Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.

What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?

They both enjoy kids' company.

Why was Michael Jackson kicked out of boy scouts? He was up to a pack a day!

Michael Jackson goes to the doctor.

Michael Jackson: "Help, doctor, I've been shot!" Doctor: "I can't fix that, but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again."

Why did Michael Jackson go to jail? He was feeling a little Randy.

In honor of Michael Jackson, Starbucks is introducing the 'Jackson Latte'. It's 50 year old coffee, with 8 year old cream. Get it while supplies last.

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

They melted him down and turned him into Lego, so kids could play with him for once.

What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?

Kids turn them on.

I do consider Johnny Depp to be a victim of domestic violence.

Just like how I consider a children's hospital run by Michael Jackson and a retirement home run by Harold Shipman to be both safe places to be in.

What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.

What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?

Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.

What does Michael Jackson and Chef from South Park have in common?

They both say "Hello children!"

What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?

Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.

What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.

What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."