IT jokes
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
We went running on our camping trip. It was past tents.
Dark humor is like food: Not everybody gets it.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?
TEN-TICKLES
Why is the disease lung cancer never hungry? Because it's eating your lungs.
Why is it called a building if it's already built?
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.
How do you make Holy Water?
Get regular water and boil the devil out of it.
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It picks cotton.
I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.
But it was only on paper view.
I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.
Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.
When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.
Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"