How do Mexicans begin counting?
Juan, Two, Three.
There were ten cats in a boat, and one jumped out. How many were left?
None, 'cause they are all copycats.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you can throw them.
How do rappers like their pizza?
With extra bars and dough!
How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?
God fucked her.
How does a rapper clean his house?
With a LIL' SCRUB.
I've never been to Bradford before until today. While driving through the city center with my dad I asked, "Would you set up a business here?", to which he responded "No".
So I asked "Why not, you'd make us rich!", He gave me a confused face and asked, "How so?".
So I said, "Because sales would be fucking booming!"
I know, it's an awful joke.
So, the sea is on a computer but doesn't know how to search, so the computer said to the sea, "Search!"
Do you get it? SEArch.
Do you know how Chinese people roast? They say, "Boy, if you don't get your chi chong head, boy!"
I have a penis.
How's that for a fucking joke? It's not a joke. It's terrible.
500 thumbs down and I'll lop off my dick with a razor.
Little Jonny, what you like airplane? How? Because you fly fast and jump high.
How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They tell her to sit in the corner in a circular room.
How can you tell if a gay guy has a high sperm count?
Chew when you swallow!
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died? He lost WiFi connection.
How Steven Hawking died: because he moved too much during the day and ran out of juice.
Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.
Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.
Me: How do you know that?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. XD
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and sick his dick.
How does a tree get online? They log in.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
