When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.
What is an orphan's least liked meal? Family dinner.
I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine! Lol.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
If dust mites are found in dust, bedbugs are found in beds, where are cockroaches found in?
I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.
One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.
Are you a toaster?
'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
What company do orphans hate the most?
S. C. Johnson, a family company.
What's an orphan's favorite store?
Ashley Home Store.
My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.
Being an orphan isn’t all bad.
On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.
Why did your father go away?
'Cause he needs da milk.
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"
Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."
Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
What is an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
