Home jokes
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So one time, poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
What happens when the orphan at school gets sent home?
What do you call an 18-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
We got Spider-Man Homecoming, Spider-Man Far from Home, then Spider-Man No Way Home, considering society’s current state and how shitty 2023 is, the next movie is probably gonna be Spider-Man Homosexual.
I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jill could lick Jack's candystick, but Jill got a surprise when she saw her boyfriend Rik. He got so angry Jack has no candystick no more. Jill went home with a black eye, and Rik got arrested for cutting Jack's candystick.
A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.
His wife was up waiting for him.
"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.
He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."
I asked the homeless woman if I could take her home. She said yes, so I took it.
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
I wanted to take a bath, but decided to leave it where it is.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
Sometimes orphans can't win spelling bees because they don't know how to spell "home."
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
What is an orphan's first step to the orphanage?
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀
What is an orphan's least favorite game?
44 Homes.
What's the most motivational thing to say to an orphan? Go big or go home!
Hi 👋 I love 💗 you walk in and out the door 🚪 night. I did not have time today. I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner. I
I made a website for orphans the other day... it doesn’t have a home page.