Home jokes
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
What do you call an 18-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
What happens when the orphan at school gets sent home?
We got Spider-Man Homecoming, Spider-Man Far from Home, then Spider-Man No Way Home, considering society’s current state and how shitty 2023 is, the next movie is probably gonna be Spider-Man Homosexual.
I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
How do you get an orphan's hands to bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home!
Say this when showing this website to someone: "You know, it's too bad this website doesn't have a homepage."
Why can't an orphan have a phone?
Because they will see a home.
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
Why can't orphans close their video games?
Because they can't find the home button.
What position would a man with no legs and arms play in baseball?
Home base.
What is an orphan's least favorite game?
44 Homes.
What's the most motivational thing to say to an orphan? Go big or go home!
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
What is an orphan's first step to the orphanage?
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"
He started crying.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.
What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.