Historical figure

Historical Figure Jokes

Julius Caesar

You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"

You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."

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  • Oven

    Nobody

    Literally nobody

    Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven?

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  • Hitler

    What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?

    Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.

    Hitler

    Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.

    "Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.

    "Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"

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  • Emo kid

    What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?

    There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.

    Hairline

    Your hairline's so messed up that even Martin Luther King Jr. couldn't have a dream about it.

    Civil War

    New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”

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  • Hitler

    What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?

    A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.