Historical figure

Historical figure jokes

Explorer

    • When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

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    • Emo kid

    • What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?

    There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.

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    • Historical figure memes

    Julius Caesar

    • You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"

    You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."

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    • Hitler

    • What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?

    Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.

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    • Hitler

    • You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says, "Will you be my Valenein?"

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    • Civil War

    • New civil war themed porn title: “Harriet Tubman gets hit with something other than an iron ingot.”

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    • Story

    • Lemme tell you a little story.

    It’s night. You’re in your room, trying to sleep. But you keep hearing it—scratching. Soft at first. Like fingernails on wood. You tell yourself it’s rats, or the house settling. But it keeps going. Slow... then faster.

    So finally, you get outta bed. You get on your hands and knees, put your ear to the floor. And you hear it. A voice. Whispers. Crying.

    Your heart’s pounding. You grab a crowbar. You pry up the floorboards. One by one. Your sweat’s dripping into the dust. The noise gets louder.

    And finally... you peel back the last plank.

    And you see these eyes. Wide and terrified. And a pale little face staring up at you.

    BOOOOOOO!!!!

    It’s Anne Frank.

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