Hide

Hide Jokes

There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life, His hands where a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.

Figure : who wants to play hide and seek.

Seek and hide: me

Figure:ok hide and I will hide and seek will be it.

Seek:why do I have to be it?

Figure: because ur name says so.

Why do we call it dead bodies? Nobody says alive bodies! like you walk into your workplace, "OMFG ITS FULL OF BODIES! Alive ones tho." You wouldn't give birth and say, "Come on husband, help me with the bodies." If its a surprise party, you wouldn't say, "QUICK, HIDE THE BODIES!" And the person who the party was for wouldn't say "OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY DEAD!"

I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.

2 women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement. Emma turns to Jane and says "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"

Jane replies with "I burnt to death."

Emma, shocked, responds with "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"

Jane answers with "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"r> Emma replies with "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."

Jane retorts with "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."

when the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot. bing,bang,boom