HI jokes

The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.

So Joe was at the store and he was looking for a dildo.

Then he saw one made out of dick skin, so he grabbed it and uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh UhuhUhUhUhUhuHuHuHuHUHUHUHUHUHUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH went his mouth.

PENIS PENIS

Your forehead is so big that Mastermind thought you were his long lost brother!

Hi, I like emos because they are black.

Hiiii!

I went to McDonald's to get a Big Mac. It was for his mom cause she was too fat.

A pastor asked his child what his favorite bible verse was... He responded, "Keep watch," because he wanted a watch.

Why did the orphan live at school?

Because on the first day his parents didn’t pick him up.

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?

He was snowed in.

A man walks into a bar and see's a naked lady, "WOOW SHES HOT!" HE picks her up and pee's on her and says, "Hi lady lets have sex."

Yo mama is so fat, she had to snap his finger twice.

People are really upset with the Trump-Biden debate.

So much so, that Chris Wallace has requested to change his name.

Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare GiGIHADid.

My dad said I need to eat more. I don't know why, but his fat ass needs to stop eating.

Hi, how are you doing?

So I told my sister, "Want [to] hear some jokes?" and she was like, "Hit me with [your] best shot, fire away," and I was like, "Okay, I know [you're] singing an old song, yeah I was trying to see if [you] sing too," and I said, "Who do [you] think I am, Chris Brown?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side and see his friend...

I have a riddle for you:

10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.

Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”

Once he eats it, he starts crying.

Why?

Kobe likes his shoes like the way he died.

Air.

Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?

Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.