HI jokes

Woman

Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!

Sally

A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?

B: Why?

A: Because she has no arms.

Knock, knock.

B: Who's there?

A: Not Sally.

Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?

B: I don't know, why?

A: Because Sally was driving the car.

Home

A cartoonist was found dead in his home.

The details are SKETCHY! :)

Skeleton

What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?

Nothing. Skeletons don’t have ears.

Memes

Roast

Guy: Are you tired?

His “Crush”: No.

Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?

His “Crush”: That’s sweet.

Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.

Skeleton

What does a skeleton tile his roof with?

Tiles.

WTF did you think he’d tile it with?

Orphan

An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."

Orphan

Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*

No one:

Literally no one:

Me: Time to make his life hell.😈

Gay

Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?

Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.

Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.

Arson

A kid decided to burn his house down.

His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."

Technology

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

Boy

A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.

IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!

Key

A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.

Prison

Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.

He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.

Skeleton

Why did the skeleton die from laughter?

'Cause they broke all his "funny bones!"