Herring jokes

Picture of yo mama last Christmas and the damn thing’s still printing.

Your mom is so fat the space shuttle can see her from 10,000 miles away.

A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.

But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?

Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"

Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"

Yo mama so old, her birth certificate expired.

Yo mama so ugly, when she was born, the doctor tried to put her back in.

Yo mama so fat, when they buried her, they named her Everest. Mount Everest.

Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.

Yo mama so ugly that when the Kool-Aid Man busted through her wall, he said, “Oh no!”

I saw a fat woman at the bus stop today, so I asked her, "When's it due?"

She replied, "I'm not fucking pregnant, you rude prick!"

I said, "I meant the bus, you fat cunt!"

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?

My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...

So I threw a coconut at her.

I asked the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.

I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.

Yo mama is so fat that her wheelchair had to be made into a couch!

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

Yo mama so fat,

Donald Trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016.

Yo mama is so ugly that her portraits hang themselves.