Have jokes

I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.

Friend: "Your jokes are too short."

Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."

Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."

Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."

Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)

What do the Twin Towers and murder victims have in common?

Both were owned by their own kind.

I want to die peacefully like my uncle, but I don’t own a car or have a garage.

I find all these obese jokes horrible.

Don't you think they have enough on their plate?

One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.

Why did the orphan go to jail? Because he could finally have a home.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Because he doesn't have parents.

No wonder some of the phones today have no home buttons.

The makers were orphans.

Hello everyone, have a great day and be positive!

If orphans made phones, it wouldn't have a home button.

Have you ever heard of Katie? Please come to KatieJennieJackson on Reddit. Her username is ok-community-2373.

My username is Big-reflection-104. C0mments from so other redditors are from her post:

Hello :). On sexy tummies. Where she is wearing a black croptop.

Are in the next post.

Moto is: Katie Jennie Jackson is so horny! Reddit username-Ok-community-2373. Follow her please. Her photos are made for you to cum for her, not at her. Thank you if you chose to think.

My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.

As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.

Why can’t orphans be gay? Because they have no closet to come out of.

Me: Hey, have you seen my butt?

Him: No, have you seen where it is?

Me: Maybe here on your private part hehe.

Him: *dumps my head on the toilet* HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR ASS NOW, PERVERT?

I used to have an imaginary friend who I could talk to, and he could grant me wishes and stuff... and then I stopped going to church.

What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?

MEALS ON WHEELS :-)

How come I have a father but not a dad?

He was a priest.

"Guys, let's make this post have the most comments on the whole website."

WTF 850 COMMENTS???

How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?

You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.

Sorry.

My name is what orphans can never have.