Have jokes
Your forehead is so big you could have put an H for Kobe to land on.
What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy.
Why can't orphans have iPhones?
Because they can't find the home button.
The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.
I have a joke about lazy people!
Actually... forget it... it won't work.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call “daddy.”
Why did the orphan jump into the burning building?
It was too cold because they did not have a home.
Why can’t orphans do homeschool? They don’t have a home to do so.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marrahwanah.
Jack got high, slapped her thigh, and then they had some fun.
Jill forgot to take her pills, and now they have a son.
What is something an orphan's phone does not have?
Home buttons.
What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?
The sea.
Why can’t orphans have a house pet?
Because its parents have it to itself.
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
What do the Flintstones and the building next to the Twin Towers have in common? They both live next to the rubble.
I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔
Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die.
"After you're dead, you'll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families."
This announcement was met with gasps of despair from the bound trio.
"There is one small favor I can offer you," the chief went on. "We'll let you choose your own method of death from what we have captured from other explorers."
Some of the tribal members begin walking by, displaying various implements of war and death.
The first explorer chose a crusty-looking musket. Thankfully, the powder load still fired, and he was dispatched without much fuss.
The second chose a knife and quickly drew it across his throat.
Both carcasses were hauled off by various tribesmen.
The third explorer stood there resolute and deep in thought.
After a few moments, the chieftain said, "There is no escape, you need to decide now, or I'll decide for yo..."
"Do you have a fountain pen in any of that junk?" the explorer interrupted?
Baffled, the chieftain sent two of his men to rummage. They came back bearing the pen and a bottle of ink.
When the explorer noticed the ink was Noodler's Baystate Blue, his grin spread from ear to ear.
Gathered round the explorer, spears in hand, the cannibals looked on as he was released and set to work filling the pen with ink.
Confused, the chief began to speak, "I'm afraid we have no paper, and even if you wrote a final letter, we'd have no way of sending it anywh..."
Cackling with triumphant glee, the explorer raised the pen into the air and began ramming it into his torso, nib first, again and again. He then fell upon the ground gasping a death rattle.
Horrified, the chief drew close as the man beckoned him for one final word.
"But why this painful death? When you had so many other more merciful options?" the chief asked.
Laughing, the man gasped his last statement into the chief's ear, "You'll make no boats from me now, and your mouths will be blue for months!"
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
Roses are red, I sniff marijuana, I have five fingers, The middle one is for your vagina.
A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.