Have jokes
What do blind people and an orphan have in common? Both can't see their parents.
Why'd the emo have no friends?
"Because they like to hang by themself."
I have had it up to here with you.
(Then there Hight.)
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
Like if your best friend is emo. *repost* or like if you have a best friend.
Why do orphans go to church?
They have someone to call "father" there.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
I made an orphan website.
But it did not have a home page.
Why do orphans only have 360 days?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's days.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one they can call "daddy."
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
What do Michael Jackson and Linus have in common? They both carry a little blanket.
What do priests and McDonald's have in common?
They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns!
So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them.
Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem.
At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancée, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day.
While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that."
So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made.
Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that!
Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.
Same thing goes when you are at bible study with a handsy priest.
I'm bored so can y'all ask me some questions and I have to answer them?
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is a sphere itself.
Why did the orphan cry to the teacher? Because they have no one else.
You abuse me that I have no beards, but your sugar daddy shaved them off to look cute. 🤔
Girls with natural hair act as if they have shares in Africa.
What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.