Halen jokes
What’s the worst song to play in front of a vegetable? “James Brown - Get on Up”
What’s the worst song to play in front of a handicapped kid? “Van Halen - Jump”
What's the worst song to play in front of a black man in Minneapolis? “I Can't Breathe - Juice Wrld”
What's the depressed person's favorite song?
Van Halen - Jump
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
Mrs. Harolen: Students, tomorrow's assignment is to bring your parents to school for a conference with the teacher information.
Garen: I want to know who cannot bring their parents to a conference. ORPHANS!
Students: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Mrs. Harolen: Garen sit down! NOW!
Garen: Hey, why can't orphans get a dog? They don't have their parents to drive them to the animal shelter.
Halen: Yeah! Why are orphans racist? Because they never saw their parents with a different race!
Students: No, that's not funny!
Student: SHUT UP!
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
Helen Keller picked up a cheese grater, it was the most violent story she'd ever read.