Growing old jokes

What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?

Neither do ever grow old.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he Neverlands! (I love this joke because it never grows old.)

I've reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there'll be some new developments I won't like.

What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?

They never grow old.

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.

My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.

I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.

What is the best cure for aging?

Suicide.

People say that life is short.

I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.