A blind man was walking into a fish market. He took a deep breath and said, “Good morning, ladies!”
Why are Americans so good at Rubik's Cubes?
They are skilled at separating colors.
Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.
What is one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in the school zone.
I'm lookin' for some good jokes for the best song award. Can y'all help a fellow out?
It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.
Most foresters have a wooden personality.
Why are friends good at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?
Q: Why are Americans so good at Rubik's cubes?
A: 'Cause they have a history of separating colors.
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
Why are orphans so good at GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)
What do you call a different spaghetti? An impasta!
PAPYRUS: WHAT DO YOU CALL A DIFFERENT SPAGHETTI SANS?
SANS: What?
PAPYRUS: AN IMPASTA!
SANS: Good one.
What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do? You can do dinner. Was that it?
Quote of the day: It's never too late to be what you wished you were.
Hope y'all are having a great day! I just got back from a volleyball tournament that I had to be up at 5 AM for! We played three games and won the last one. We advanced and are playing a few more tomorrow. Wish me and my team good luck!
This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.
Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.
Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"
Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.”
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.
Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.
