Good Will Jokes

Suicide

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

Pilot

Looking out for becoming a pilot, can y'all suggest some good mosques?

Don't want to learn the landing part, though, Allah said it's unnecessary.

Flower

You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?

Post

Hello! I hope you're having a good day or night! Mind commenting when you laughed the hardest and why? Like if you like this post!

Polar Bear

Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝

“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”

Ball

Papyrus: Well come to the underground.

Sans: How was your falls?

Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.

Sans: Give me your balls!

Student

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?” When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good,” and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Savior?” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. “JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!” The Teacher fainted.

Comedian

I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.

The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.

Milk

You wonder where my dad is.

Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!

Mess

Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.

Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.

One

You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?

The second one never lands as good as the first one.

Prank

"Thank God there are no of these ahahha ya thank God to pranks."

"Oh I forgot a dance 🕺 😅 joke is good ok for kids."